Insert Self
 
Disclaimer: You'd think by now, I would have learned...
 
< >: Thoughts
 
Ranma-chan: Ranma's female side
 
Chapter 3
So, Do We Have a Deal?
 
Ranma was lying on his bed and was in deep in thought. It was the day after
the incidents at Furinken. Currently, Hung's consciousness was taking a nap,
so the son of Genma and Nodoka actually had his mind and body to himself.
However, after having the writer's presence almost always there every waking
moment for the past two months, Ranma found himself feeling somewhat...
hollow.
 
As soon as he had realized that the other personality in his body had
relinquished control, the first thing Ranma did, was try to figure out how
to execute the Shadow Kick and Auto-Combo techniques on his own. After more
than a hundred attempts and failing each time, he decided to think about it
to determine just what he was missing. He knew that his body and ki were
already trained for such moves. He could feel it every time Hung used them.
However, whenever he tried to do them, he just... couldn't. It was as if
those moves were turned off when Hung wasn't fighting.
 
What he did not know was that Hung had gone through the training with the
body and ki, but not with Ranma's mind. There were no spiritual and mental
connections between Ranma's consciousness and the very essence of those
maneuvers. Without Hung acting like a catalyst to trigger those responses,
Ranma did not have any way of accessing those techniques at present.
Furthermore, the writer had created several mental blockers in Ranma's inner
mind, to prevent him from accidentally triggering them during times of
extreme stress. It went along the same idea in which master fighters sealed
away techniques, like Happosai and his Happo-Dariken and Genma's Umisenken.
It was like a self-induced form of amnesia. Ranma had the enhanced
endurance, strength and increased speed from the training, but not the
ability to direct his ki in the proper directions for those moves, Hung had
developed. It was like being given a complex machine without the security
code.
 
Ranma sighed as he pondered some more. His mind began recalling every move
that Hung had used against Kuno, and he shuddered a bit at the brutality he
showed. Wasn't Ranma trained to be a martial artist and to fight with honor?
The fanfic writer didn't seem to have any compunctions, with... underhanded
tactics, such as hitting below the belt. He also showed some clear hostility
toward Akane Tendo, though he couldn't understand why. Sure she had a really
bad temper, but she wasn't THAT bad, was she?
 
<You're one to think about underhanded tactics, Mr. ANYTHING GOES School of
Martial Arts.>
 
Ranma was pulled out of his reverie as that familiar sensation was felt in
his head. Animeaddiction had just woken up.
 
<Ahhh. That was a good nap! Well now, what do we have here? Looks like
somebody has been trying to learn the Shadow Kick and the Auto Combos on his
own.>
 
Ranma winced as he didn't bother asking how Hung knew that. The martial
artist remembered that his other half had access to all the memories in his
head and probably looked into his most recent.
 
<Ahhhh, who needs to learn those moves anyway?> Ranma replied, trying to
sound nonchalant about not being able to execute those moves.
 
Animeaddiction didn't buy it for a nanosecond. However, after having some
time to think about what he had said to Ranma before, he had decided that
his approach to helping Ranma out wasn't working. His host was resisting
every step of the way. If Ranma were to slide back into his pre-Jusenkyo
behavior, then that might run the risk of being forced to commit Seppuku.
Though he didn't like his current situation, he had decided that existence
by itself was far better than nothing. He was pretty certain that if Ranma
died, he'd go along with him.
 
Hung had promised to Nodoka to help Ranma with his manliness, which included
having him learn a sense of responsibility, much better morals than what
Genma had instilled, and most importantly, look at girls the way a boy his
age should be looking. In Ranma's mind, Hung had found a high amount of
repressed emotions and thoughts that went along with puberty. Yet another
thing that could be blamed on Genma. He had purposely stunted Ranma's mental
and emotional development, through isolation and no female contact, by
having him focus only on the martial arts. In this way, the greedy panda of
a father had ensured that his son would be totally dependent on others, and
most particularly on him and whomever he chose to be engaged to his son. No
wonder Ranma had fastened onto Akane in the original series, despite the
verbal and physical abuse he had taken from her. He was so lonely and
desperate for company, that he fixated on the first person to have shown him
any kindness, never mind the fact that she treated him so poorly afterwards.
 
After reviewing all his memories, Hung had decided that it was time to go
easier on his host. Ranma had been an abused child and Genma had beaten him
brutally on many occasions for even speaking out against him. Ranma had no
real friends, nor did he have any place to call home until now. He had
always been moving from one place to another, usually because of the law or
Genma skipping out on a deal he had made, using his son as a bargaining
chip. There was another part of Ranma's psyche that was dangerously
teetering on the edge of his sanity. It didn't take a genius to figure out
that part of his mind dealt with the Neko Ken. Hung made a silent note to do
something about that as well. It could be a great advantage if they could
somehow get to the power of the Neko Ken without having Ranma go mad. With a
little work, it was feasible to duplicate some of the moves from Cat Fist
Fury.
 
Hung had reviewed Ranma's life in its entirety and discovered a few things
about Ranma that he never knew before. For one thing, that flimsy excuse of
Genma's of Ranma choosing okonomiyaki over Ukyo had been nothing but one of
the panda's lies. The writer had found none of that in Ranma's memory, and
it made sense that his host's father would make up something like that, just
to save his own skin. Hung wondered why he ever took that excuse at face
value. It wasn't the first time Genma had let Ranma take the heat for his
crimes and Hung had seen Ranma get punished for things that were Genma's
fault.
 
Hung mentally shook his head and took a deep breath as he made a silent
prayer. Getting Ranma to change wasn't going to be easy, but he had to try.
And since the stick didn't work, he decided to try the carrot.
 
<C'mon Ranma. We've got to talk.>
 
<Hey!> Ranma was no longer in control of his own body as it rose up from the
bed and headed toward the door.
 
----------
 
Twenty minutes later, Ranma found himself in an abandoned lot, a few blocks
from his home.
 
<So now what?> Ranma asked bitterly.
 
<Now, we're going to discuss about what you plan to do with the rest of your
life.>
 
<Why ask me? It's obvious that you've got all the answers.> Ranma remarked
sarcastically. <I'm just along for the ride.>
 
Hung was silent for a long time before replying. <Yeah, I guess I deserved
that. Even though I did help you avoid some bad situations, it is your life
and Kami-sama did give you the ability to decide. However, put yourself in
my position. If you knew everything that will happen in my life, including
the really bad stuff, then find yourself living it; wouldn't you do whatever
was possible to avoid it?>
 
<I... guess.>
 
<Right. Keep in mind, that I don't WANT your life. I want my own, just like
you want yours. Since we're stuck with each other, and living this life,
then we'd better come to an understanding. I have a lot to offer to you, and
I will admit that there is a selfish motive to my helping you.>
 
<Really?>
 
<It's simple. If you die, then I will as well. That was the reason why I got
your mother to give up the Seppuku Contract on you. Also, keep in mind that
I KNOW all the bad stuff that will happen to you, and I told you before, I
DON'T want them to make your life, and mine, a living Hell. That's why I put
your body through that extra training; to prepare for those times and maybe
defuse them before they happen. If I can't stop them, then at least you and
I can fight back. However, there are other reasons why I want you to change
from what your father had laid out for you.>
 
<Like what?> Ranma snorted.
 
<Like the fact that I do respect and admire you. You've got an integrity and
determination that I like. You're one of my favorite characters. And...
well, you've got a lot of potential and I don't mean just in martial arts.
I'd hate to see it wasted if you just went the way you would've gone if I
hadn't come around.>
 
<So what are you getting at?>
 
<Well... I want to make an offer to you. To show that I'm on the up and up,
I'm going to give you a freebie.>
 
<What... kind of freebie?>
 
Hung paused before replying. <I know that you've been trying to duplicate
the moves I used yesterday, but you can't, and I'll tell you why. Those
moves have been sealed. I put up some mental blockers to keep you from
accessing them. Your body and ki may be primed in those techniques, but your
mind isn't, because it doesn't have the mental 'password' in order to
connect with them. Now then, if I were to unlock that seal and redirect the
flows of ki through your mind and body, like so...>
 
Ranma felt a sudden tingle in his head and felt a kind of surge in his
limbs. It was like the time when Hung had beaten up Kuno, only this time,
Hung was not controlling his body and he could see in his mind's eye; the
technique itself and its inner workings. He then pivoted on his left foot
while extending his right leg. He then willed himself forward, and sure
enough, he shot out like a rocket, leaving trailing shadow images of himself
behind him. His foot impacted against a nearby telephone post. With a
tremendous crash, the pole was snapped in two and toppled to the ground like
a giant redwood that had been felled by a lumberjack.
 
Ranma stared at his handiwork as he lowered his foot. He did a mental check
and discovered that the Shadow Kick was now permanently ingrained into his
memories. He could see himself, or rather his body being trained by Hung
when he was sleeping. It was if he had gone through the training himself,
which in a sense, he did. He just never knew it. He was silent for a long
time, then...
 
<What is this... deal?>
 
Hung nodded as he now had Ranma's attention. <Well, it's obvious that I can
help you in your dream to become a great martial artist, but you have to ask
yourself; is it really YOUR dream?>
 
<What are you talking about? Martial arts is my life!>
 
<No. That's what your father had told you since you were five. That's what
he's ingrained into your head from day one of your training journey. And
like the good, obedient and innocent boy that you were, you just went along
with whatever he mapped out for you. He constantly drilled it into you, from
dawn to dusk for ten years. I've seen it all in your memories. Martial arts
were all that mattered, and if it did not have martial arts in it, then it
wasn't important. That is what HE said. That's HIS dream. And let me tell
you, it's not for your own good. He just wants you to marry a Tendo girl and
inherit the Tendo Dojo, so he could retire early and live off your sweat for
the rest of his life. Believe me, I know. That's why he kept you isolated
all this time. He's using you for HIS own benefit, not yours.>
 
<Pop's not like that! I mean... he's always looked out for me before.> Ranma
protested.
 
<No. He's only looking out for his best meal ticket, namely you.> Hung gave
off a long sigh. <Ranma, before I tell you about the deal, I want you to
think, and I mean really think about your past life and everything that
you've done before you met me. I'll give you a hand on making some of your
memories clearer, but I want you to take a good hard look at yourself and
tell me if you truly are in control of your life. And ask yourself this. Are
you happy with it? Is it truly what you want?>
 
With these words, Hung then went silent, leaving Ranma alone as old memories
came trickling into his mind.
 
Ranma began seeing images of his earliest experiences with his mother and
saw himself as a laughing child of three as Nodoka. Then, two years later,
he saw that fateful day in which Genma argued with his mother to take their
only child away on a training journey. It finally ended as Ranma placed his
inked palm on the Seppuku Contract. Then came a series of mental pictures as
Ranma saw his younger self put through training exercise after training
exercise to toughen up his body for the trials ahead. He had always thought
that he had played some harmless games with his father, but in actuality, he
was committing acts of theft by taking things that didn't belong to him.
 
The images became even harsher when he relived the Neko Ken training and
seeing Ukyo's crying face as he left his old buddy on the side of the road
while unintentionally running off with her family's cart. In his mind, he
could here Ucchan's voice quite clearly as she cried.
 
Then came even more trials as he faced off against Ryoga in the duels for
the last bread at the cafeteria. Later on, after waiting three days for his
rival to show for their duel of honor, he sees Genma drag him off, despite
the fact that he wanted to uphold his honor. More images passed by as Ranma
saw himself being dragged from place to place; never stopping, never resting
as Genma put his son through the gauntlet with even more insane training
methods, some of which almost killed him. And through it all, he always had
it drilled into him that martial arts were everything. Whenever he voiced
out against his father, he would be badly beaten down, with his father
berating him; calling him weak and shirking his dream to be the best martial
artist... no, not his dream... Genma's dream.
 
For the life of him, Ranma couldn't remember a single time in which he made
a decision on his own. Genma was the one who decided things for him. Genma
was the one who decided that they should visit China, though he was too
cheap to buy plane tickets, so they swam there. Genma was the one who
decided to visit Jusenkyo, despite not being able to understand a word of
Chinese, nor ask why it was called a cursed training ground. Genma had
decided to train there, without even asking the guide. And now, even after
being cursed, it was Genma's decision to have his only son engaged to marry
a girl he had never even met, due to an old pledge that he and his friend
had made while sitting in a bar one night. (Hung had told him about that
part, and it did make sense that his father would be stupid enough to do
something like that). So when had Ranma been able to choose for himself?
Answer: None.
 
When the myriad of images faded away and Ranma was brought back to reality,
Hung then asked, <Well, Ranma? Are you really happy about the fact that your
life has turned out the way it has before? Would you like to go on like that
or...?>
 
<Let me ask you something.> Ranma inquired slowly. <Exactly how will your
deal be any different from what Pops has been doing, such as deciding things
for me, even when I don't agree?>
 
<Well, the fact that I'm letting you have a choice right now, should be an
indication. I don't want your life Ranma, but I am willing to help you with
it. I can increase your martial arts substantially, however I'm not going to
do it for free.>
 
<What do you want?>
 
<Here's the deal. I've already primed your body and ki to the point in which
you can become a great fighter. I have a lot of moves in which you can
master, plus plenty more that I can pick up. I think I can even help you
with controlling the Neko Ken.>
 
<You can?>
 
<It's possible, but I don't want you to limit yourself to just the fight.
You NEED to think about your future, Ranma. Remember that your Mom is
expecting you to live up to your obligations as a man among men, and I can
help you with that. However, in order to do so, you've got to UNLEARN all
those morals and ideas that Genma taught you. Trust me, they WON'T help you
and your mother does NOT approve of them. So in exchange for some martial
arts lessons, I want you take some other lessons in education,
responsibility and social skills.>
 
<What? I don't need to learn that stuff! They got nuthin' to do with martial
arts and...>
 
<Exactly! The whole world does not revolve around martial arts, and it's
going to eat you alive if you're not prepared! You can't beat all things
with just your fists. It's a fair deal. I'll show you some new fighting
moves, and you learn some things about life outside of the fight.>
 
<It doesn't sound fair to me.>
 
<Ranma... there's an old saying that I heard once. People who are idiots
were not born stupid, they just learned to be that way. Everything that
makes up your personality today was learned from your father and he learned
to be a thieving, greedy idiot from his master. You know he's a moron, I
know it and your mother knows it. Now... do you WANT to be like Genma?>
 
That final argument made Ranma shudder as he imagined an older version of
himself that resembled Genma. He replied slowly, <Well... you've got a point
there, but... I really don't like learning stuff that doesn't have martial
arts in it.>
 
<Just because some things aren't related to martial arts, doesn't make them
any less important. Now, in addition to helping you learn new moves, I will
help you in those other lessons as well. And even though I can take over
your body at any time, I'll refrain except for emergencies, defense or
special situations.>
 
<What kind of situations?>
 
<You'll see in the near future. And I promise that I will try to find a way
to separate us permanently. Until then, it would be best if we cooperated,
for both our sakes. So... what's your answer?>
 
Ranma was silent for the longest time as he weighed his options. On one
hand, he could return to Genma, continue with the hare-brained training
sessions, get engaged to some girl without being consulted, (he shuddered a
bit at the thought of being engaged to the short-tempered Akane), and let
his father continue to run his life. On the other hand, he could try this
new course, with the promise of better martial arts skills and actually be
able to have some say in matters that concerned him. Living with his mother
was also a bonus. No Seppuku Pledge either. A possible solution to his fear
of cats was enticing. However, it also included learning things that he had
largely disregarded in the past, plus having a somewhat irritating,
know-it-all person in his head.
 
Finally, Ranma thought that he had nothing else to lose so he went with the
option in which the plusses outweighed the minuses.
 
<Will I be able to make my own choices, at least some of the time?>
 
<I'll... try to give you as much advice and information as I can to help
you, but... yeah, you'll be given opportunities to decide for yourself. It
is your life after all.>
 
<Okay... you've got a deal.>
 
----------
 
Later that evening...
 
"Ranma, I thought you were asleep." Nodoka said as she saw her son,
currently as a girl, walk into the living room.
 
"Actually, he is." Hung said while tapping the side of the head. He sat down
beside her on the couch.
 
"I... see. So you're the other person? His guardian angel?"
 
"That's right. I'm here to talk to you on what I plan to do with Ranma's....
er, education."
 
"How is my son?"
 
"Well... to put it bluntly, he's basically a good person, but he's got a LOT
of rough edges, due to your husband. Most of those he could do without. I've
got my work cut out for me, since he's picked up too many of Genma's bad
habits and I'm going to need your help in getting him to kick those."
 
"What can I do to help my son?"
 
"Well, we've come to an understanding, but he's still very reluctant to
learn things that have nothing to do with the martial arts, and he's pretty
stubborn to listen to advice. At times, I had to take over his body
completely to keep him out of trouble. I think this made him resent me a bit
and any advice I could give to him that doesn't concern martial arts, may be
ignored. Therefore, I believe that if you were to encourage him as well,
maybe even give some the advice yourself, then he may be more willing, to at
least listen."
 
"That sounds reasonable." Nodoka agreed. "So what are you going to teach him
first?"
 
"The first thing we have to do is to instill a sense of tact and make him
realize that not all things can be settled with his fists. Social skills are
also going to need a lot of work. Apparently, his biggest fault is that his
mouth tends to move faster than his brain. By the time he realizes the
consequences of his words, he's already in big trouble."
 
"Yes, I can see how he learned that from Genma."
 
"I would also like to have him develop more responsibility. To that end... I
want him to get a job."
 
"A job? What for? I've got more than enough to support the both of us and he
needs to keep up with his studies."
 
"It will only be a part-time position and I'll make certain that he keeps up
with his schoolwork. It wouldn't hurt to have some extra income and this
will also help Ranma develop some independence. He needs to be more
self-sufficient and I won't have Ranma become a freeloader like his father,
no insult intended."
 
"None taken. After what you had told me about what had happened in the last
ten years, I'm grateful that you are here to help my son become a true man.
And if I ever see Genma again, then he will have much to answer for."
 
"Yes, well my guess would be that he's hiding out at the Tendo home, and
probably would use that curse of his if you ever came there."
 
For the next hour, Hung and Nodoka continued to discuss their plans as Ranma
continued to sleep.
 
----------
 
The next day after school...
 
<Are you sure about this?> Ranma asked he walked home from school. It had
been an uneventful day, save for one minor nuisance...
 
----------
 
Flashback...
 
"Ranma Saotome! I shall not allow this foul engagement to the lovely Akane
to take place! Release her at once!"
 
Ranma's body went into auto-defense mode as Kuno charged in with bokken
swinging.
 
SNAP!
 
One kick breaks the wooden sword.
 
WHOMP!
 
A punch to the gut causes the kendoist to double over.
 
WHOOSH!
 
"WHAT THE...?!"
 
CRUNCH! WHAM!
 
The spectators winced after seeing Kuno soar upward, then come back down as
Ranma executed Clark's Argentine Backbreaker before slamming his attacker to
the pavement.
 
Guess who's been playing King of Fighters 2001 again?
 
On the sidelines, Akane snorted in disgust as Ranma simply walked away from
the heap that was the Blue Blunder.
 
<Hmpf! Showoff!>
 
----------
 
End of flashback...
 
<You heard your mother this morning.> Hung mentally replied. <She wants you
to be more independent and having a part-time job can help. Besides, if you
have some extra cash, then you won't have to depend on your mother to pay
for everything. In any case, I saw an ad in this morning's paper about a job
opening and... ah, here were are.>
 
Ranma looked up and saw the sign. <Huh? A clinic?>
 
<Yep. Dr. Tofu is the local chiropractor and acupressure expert.>
 
<So what are we doing here >
 
<The ad said that he needed a part-time assistant to help with his filing
and stuff. It doesn't pay much, but a little cash is better than none.>
 
<Aw, do we have to?>
 
<Ranma, remember our bargain. I help with the martial arts and you learn
some things that are not fight-related, though we can learn a great deal of
martial arts here anyway.>
 
<We can?>
 
<Trust me on this one. Dr. Tofu may not look it, but I hear that he's quite
the martial artist.>
 
----------
 
It didn't take long for Ranma and Hung to have their interview with the good
doctor and get the job. After calling his mother and telling her that they
would be late for dinner because of the new job, they went to work,
rearranging his library.
 
When Ranma came across some texts, which depicted diagrams on the effects of
certain pressure points, Hung became very interested and had Ranma scan
them.
 
<Ranma, study these pressure points and memorize them all, including their
effects and duration.>
 
<Huh? What for? These are just anesthetic pressure points to relieve pain
and their reverse applications.>
 
<They'll come in very handy when you're injured, and they'll also give you
an advantage when Ryoga Hibiki comes after you.>
 
<Huh? Ryoga? Who's... oh yeah. He was the guy I met back in Junior High. He
had a problem with getting lost all the time. So what are you talking about
and why do you think he'll be coming?>
 
<You'll see in about a few days. If I remember right, he'll come charging in
with that stupid, 'Ranma, prepare to die' thing. Trust me.>
 
<Why would he be after me?>
 
<Well, he's still pretty mad at you for not being at that empty lot for your
duel. Though I can't believe that he'd get so worked up over some bread.>
 
<Hey, I waited three days for him to show!>
 
<Yeah, well he came on the FOURTH day. In any case, he's also got a Jusenkyo
Curse after we accidentally knocked him into the Spring of Drowned Whatever.
I think it was Drowned Piglet, but I can't be 100% sure of that.>
 
<Huh?>
 
<You'll see, in a day or two, maybe even tomorrow. I do remember that he
shows up really early on in the series. Oh, and by the way, don't let him
pin any blame on you. Remember that it wasn't your fault, so you owe him
nothing. He made the challenge and set the time, so it was HIS
responsibility to show up, regardless of his problem of getting lost. The
way I see it, you won by default. Furthermore, he had no business in
following you to China. In any case, we've also got to watch out for Genma.
He probably knows we're living with your mother by now. He won't dare come
home, but he's most likely going to try and drag you to the Tendo dojo to
fulfill that stupid pledge.>
 
<What's so bad about to going to the dojo?>
 
<What? Do you WANT to be engaged against your will?>
 
<No, but...>
 
<It's nothing but an excuse for him to freeload off his friend and use you
as a bargaining chip. He'll let you go through Hell, just so he can get away
with his crimes, and get something without earning it. That's NOT going to
happen in my book. He's not going to enjoy anything at your expense or mine.
We are not going to keep paying for his mistakes.>
 
<But... he is my Pop.>
 
<And do you WANT to end up just like him?>
 
Ranma became absolutely silent at this question as he imagined himself
older, fatter, with a pair of glasses, with a kerchief wrapped around his
bald head. He shuddered.
 
<I thought not.> Hung said. <Now, let's get back to those pressure points,
okay? We'll practice them tonight and I'll ask your mother for that scroll.>
 
<What scroll?>
 
<Nodoka has a scroll that tells about the Umisenken. We could use that. It's
the only thing that your father has that's worth learning. And I think it's
possible to do a Shock Attack.>
 
<A what attack?>
 
<It's a special attack that I created in Fist of the Pikachu. Since we don't
have a Pikachu, I'm going to have to... improvise.>
 
<Huh?>
 
<After all, energy is energy. According to Newton's Laws, it can be
converted into different forms, so it's possible to transform ki into
electricity. I saw Roshi do it in Dragonball.>
 
<What are you talking about?>
 
<Maybe... if I get a hold of a car battery from the junkyard...>
 
<Say what?!>
 
<We'll save that for later. Care to play a couple of games after work?>
 
----------
 
Meanwhile, at the Tendo Home...
 
"Ranma's where?!" Genma gasped as Nabiki told him of where the future of the
Anything Goes was, after having him shell out five hundred yen, of course.
 
"That's right. He's staying with his mother in Juuban."
 
Soun perked up as he heard this. "We should go there at once and..."
 
"NO!" Genma shrieked in terror as he stopped his friend from rushing out the
door.
 
"What's wrong, Saotome? Shouldn't we go and fetch your son?"
 
"Er, yes Tendo, but..." Genma desperately tried to think of a reason not to
go to his home. "But... it's pretty far and it's late. We can just simply
fetch Ranma at school tomorrow, right?"
 
"Well, I suppose we could do that." Soun admitted as his friend breathed out
a sigh of relief.
 
Nabiki however, knew that something was up. She saw that Genma was
absolutely terrified about seeing his wife and that meant that he was hiding
something.
 
----------
 
The next day at Furinken, after classes were over...
 
"SHORYUKEN!"
 
Kuno went flying as he received a flaming Dragon Uppercut to the chin. Ranma
landed in a ready stance, but it was unnecessary as his opponent was once
again out like a light.
 
<Man, it's getting too easy!>
 
Hung mentally shrugged. <Oh well. At least he gives us a chance to practice
our new moves. Hmmm, I wonder if Ryoga will show up today?>
 
It was then that Hung noted that a couple of people were hiding nearby, and
guessed who it was.
 
----------
 
"Impressive Saotome. Your son is very skilled." Soun remarked.
 
"Heh. Who do you think taught him?" Genma looked smug, but was confused.
<Where did he learn that?!>
 
----------
 
"Wow. Your fiance took out Kuno with one shot." Yuka said with awe. "That
was awesome!"
 
"He's NOT my fiance!" Akane said angrily. "I could do that!" Though she
wouldn't admit it, she was jealous of him and wondered how he did that
attack.
 
----------
 
"Come Saotome! It's time to claim your..."
 
"RANMA! PREPARE TO DIE!"
 
Both fathers and everyone else looked in the direction of the shout.
 
KABOOM!
 
----------
 
<Yep. I thought so.> Hung remarked as he and Ranma flipped to safety and
went into a battle stance.
 
Crouched in the middle of the crater he had made with his umbrella, Ryoga
smiled as he glared at the source of all his suffering.
 
"I finally found you... Ranma Saotome!"
 
<Watch this Ranma. He's going to say, 'Well I can see that you're still good
at running away.'>
 
Ryoga got up and snarled. "Well I can see that you're still good at running
away!"
 
<Bingo!>
 
"Royga Hibiki?" Ranma said as he pointed a finger at him.
 
"Heh. I'm surprised that you remembered me, you coward!" The Lost Boy
growled.
 
Ranma held up a hand as he recalled what Hung had told him about Ryoga.
"Wait a second. You're not REALLY mad at me, because you got lost for four
days, trying to get to that empty lot behind your house, are you?"
 
"Huh? How did you know that...? NEVER MIND! I'M HERE TO..."
 
"Get revenge for all your suffering, right?" Ranma asked.
 
"YES! NO! I MEAN...!"
 
"And now you think since I wasn't there for that duel, then you wouldn't
have gone to China and ended up in Jusenkyo, right?"
 
"Huh? How did you know that? Grrr! Stop putting words in my mouth!"
 
"Hey, it's the truth." Ranma shrugged. "Even though technically speaking, I
won that fight by default, since you set up the time an place and didn't
show for four days."
 
"Stop making excuses, you coward!"
 
"I really don't know why you're so steamed up at me about, Ryoga. In any
case, it wouldn't really matter, since I'm WAY ahead of you in terms of
martial arts and you wouldn't stand a chance now."
 
<Ranma, what did I tell you about tact?> Hung warned. <I'm not too crazy
about this guy myself, but...>
 
<Hey, it's no big deal. I can handle Ryoga, no sweat.>
 
Hung sighed as he saw that there was no help for it now. <All right, but
make it fast.>
 
<Watch this! Flawless Victory!>
 
To all those who were watching, it seemed that Ranma was now ignoring
Ryoga's presence. This got the Lost Boy's rage to the boiling point.
 
"How dare you ignore me! ENOUGH! WE'RE GOING TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR
ALL!" With this cry of outrage, he charged at Ranma with his umbrella
pointed at him. However, his opponent was far more nimble and easily dodged
the strike by hopping over the weapon and used Ryoga's head for a
springboard. The Lost Boy fell flat on his face as Ranma landed and whirled
about.
 
"YOU'LL PAY FOR MOCKING ME!" Ryoga roared as he got up and charged again.
 
However, Ranma suddenly leapt forward with feet first and kicking.
 
Ryoga found himself on the receiving end of Liu Kang's Bicycle Kick and was
hit several dozen times. This caused him to stagger backward, but Ranma
wasn't finished. The pigtailed boy then shot forward, leaving several
trailing shadows behind him as he extended his right leg out.
 
"WHAT THE...?!"
 
"SHADOW KICK!"
 
WHABOOM!
 
Ryoga was sent flying backward and crashed through the front doors of
Furinken High.
 
Ranma tensed up to get ready for the next attack, but Hung mentally shook
his head.
 
<Don't bother Ranma. Ryoga won't be coming back for a while.>
 
<Huh?>
<He should be lost, right about.... now!>
 
"RANMA! WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME! I'LL FIND YOU!"
 
Ranma and the rest of the spectators began hearing a series of crashes as
the directionally-challenged martial artist wreaked a path of destruction
through the halls of Furinken High. He soon exited the building, but on the
other side and was soon a tiny dot over the horizon.
 
<What did I tell you?> The fanfic writer remarked. <Can't even take a dozen
steps without getting lost.>
 
<Oh well. That's that.> Ranma shrugged.
 
<Not yet. Remember that we have to be at Dr. Tofu's in ten minutes.>
 
<Oh yeah, the job. Do I really have to?>
 
<You agreed to this, Ranma.>
 
<Okay, let's get going,>
 
With that, Ranma began heading toward the clinic. However, his body suddenly
stopped as Hung took over.
 
<Hey, what gives?!>
 
<Sorry, Ranma. Remember when I told you that I'll only take over in
emergencies and special situations? This is one of them.>
 
----------
 
Ranma's aura suddenly flared as he turned about and threw a fist into the
air.
 
"SCREW UPPER!"
 
"Ranma! You will come with me and marry... WAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!"
 
Soun and Genma had only begun to bumrush the key to their long retirement
when a sudden orange tornado shot forward and swept them up into the air.
Soon the two schemers were also distant dots over the horizon.
 
Everyone looked at Ranma in awe. Ranma himself was in total disbelief.
 
<How did you do that?!>
----------
 
Akane was also wondering the same thing.
 
<How did he DO that?!>
 
----------
 
On the roof of a nearby building, a group of very interested spectators were
in the same state of thinking.
 
<Hmmmm, interesting. That was very similar to the Hiryu Shoten Ha. We've
been tracking for days now and we just may have found who we're looking
for.>
 
Cologne motioned for her great-granddaughter and the rest of the Amazons to
follow her. This was going to require some more investigation.
 
----------
 
That night...
 
<That move you did. That was Joe Higashi's Finishing Move, wasn't it?>
Ranma-chan mentally asked as she practiced some katas in the backyard. With
Hung's help, she had finished her homework in good time and had helped with
the household chores, which pleased Nodoka.
 
<Yep. I mastered it last night after you went to sleep. I'll release the
lock on that later. After I mastered the Hiryu Shoten Ha, I figured that
other wind techniques could be adapted.> Hung replied.
 
<The Hiryu... what?>
 
<It's one of those secret Amazon techniques that I know about. I used the
training for those moves as a basis for those other techniques. The Chestnut
Fist can become the Vulcan Punch, the Hiryu Shoten Ha became the Screw Upper
and the Shoryuken, and so on. Remember all those times you felt tired? Well,
that was me putting your body and ki through the training to strengthen and
toughen you up, as well as increase your speed and agility. The reason why
you don't know the actual techniques is because I put a mental blocker on
them, just so you don't use them by accident.>
 
<Well, why don't you just release them now? >
 
<Two reasons. First of all, we're more than likely going to encounter the
Amazons sooner or later, and they might just get suspicious if they found
out that you know their 'secret' techniques. Secondly, I think that the
moves that we develop from those arcade games and my fanfics are a lot
better, don't you think? I only used the training in those Amazon moves as a
FOUNDATION, to get your body primed, for better moves. All we have to do is
alter them a bit and call them something else, okay?>
 
<Okay... I guess. So why are we training in my cursed form?>
 
<Well, though you don't like this form, it would be best that you know how
to fight like this. This body is lighter, faster and more flexible, which
makes up for the decrease in strength. Besides, there will be times when
water will find us, so it's best to be prepared.>
 
<Okay. So what are we going to practice tonight?>
 
<Well... I was thinking along the lines of my favorite Fatal Fury character,
Terry Bogard. Oh, by the way. Since Ryoga's here now, I think that he would
make a much better person to practice on than Kuno. You have to admit, he's
really pathetic.>
 
<Yeah, but he's still not going to give up attacking us.>
 
<I've... got an idea on how to get him off our backs.> (1)
 
----------
 
Meanwhile at the Tendo Dojo...
 
"HIYAAAAAAHHHHH!"
 
Akane frowned as she threw up her fist in an uppercut and saw the lack of
results.
 
<AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH! HOW DID HE DO THOSE MOVES?!>
 
Akane had been having some fantasies of being able to summon up a tornado
and obliterating the Horde of Hentai and Kuno with one punch. However, after
a hundred attempts at duplicating Ranma's special moves, she was no closer
to succeeding than she was a few hours ago.
 
Nabiki had been watching her sister for a while, then decided to speak her
mind.
 
"I think you'd better forget it Akane. There's no way you could do what
Ranma did today."
 
"I can do this! I'm a martial artist too!" (2)
 
Nabiki snorted. "I doubt that. Though I am kind of puzzled."
 
"What about?"
 
"Well, according to what other people have told me, Ranma seems to spend a
lot of his time playing in the local arcade. That seems to be where he gets
a lot of his techniques. Hiroshi and Daisuke have seen him there many times,
and told me that they recognize a lot of those moves. That Shadow Kick and
Ball Breaker was from Mortal Kombat. The Backbreaker and that hurricane
technique was from King of Fighters. Remember when he annihilated Kuno with
those combos? Daisuke swears to me that he saw something like that from
Killer Instinct. And then he did that Rising Dragon Uppercut from Street
Fighter."
 
"Are you saying that he learned all those moves from playing video games?!"
Akane asked in disbelief.
 
"I know it sounds weird..."
"Hah! Then that's how I'm going to do it!" The younger sister slammed a fist
into a palm.
 
"Now hold on, Akane! I didn't say that he learned those moves from those
games. I'm just saying that..."
 
"Just you wait! I'll be even better than he is!" Akane then went to her room
for some money.
 
Nabiki could only shake her head in disbelief. As usual, Akane tended to
jump to conclusions and preferred to take shortcuts.
 
----------
 
The next day...
 
"Ranma Saotome! I will..."
 
"RISING TACKLE!"
 
Kuno was unprepared when Ranma suddenly inverted himself and shot up like a
rocket. The extended foot slammed into his chin and made him drop his
weapon. Ranma spun with fists extended out, catching Kuno in the chest
several times.
 
When he landed, Ranma looked down at his battered foe who was just barely
conscious.
 
"I... fight... on!"
 
Ranma sighed as he mentally asked Hung, <Are you sure about this?>
 
<Why not? It couldn't hurt to try it.>
 
<It sounds so... corny!>
 
<Okay... if you don't want to do it, then let me.>
 
<Be my guest.>
 
Hung took over the body as he smiled down at his opponent. "Honored
upperclassman..."
 
Kuno was quite surprised to be addressed in such a polite manner and was
instantly listening to every word.
 
"You have shown a true warrior's spirit." Hung continued. "Therefore, I
hereby deem you worthy of Akane Tendo's love. I relinquish all claims on
her."
 
"Wha...? You are...?"
 
"These past few days have been a test of your devotion to your one true love
and you have passed! Congratulations!"
 
"I... have?!"
 
"Yes! And therefore, you and only you are worthy of her love. I hereby
approve! However, though you have proven to me that you are worthy, you must
still prove your worthiness to her! You MUST defeat her in combat. She is a
fierce tigress and therefore, deserves a true warrior!"
 
In an instant, Kuno was up and in a dramatic pose. "Yes! You are correct, my
good man! I, the great and noble Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken
High shall prove that I am worthy of her!"
 
"And you must fight her with ALL of your might!" Hung added. <Whew! Ranm's
right! This IS corny!>
 
"What?! I cannot! I cannot stand the thought of causing harm to my beautiful
flower!" Kuno protested.
 
"Ah, but you must! For she is a warrior and will only love another warrior
who displays all of his strength! You are only insulting her if you hold
back!"
 
Kuno thought for a very long time. (Bear with him, as his brain is usually
stuck on low gear). Finally, he nodded and held his bokken high. "You are
correct. Though it will pain me, I shall show her all of my might, so that
she may fully understand that I have a warrior's heart!" He turned to Ranma
and Hung and gave them a respectful bow. "I thank thee for your lessons and
showing me the true way to my love's heart. Verily, you are the most
ingenious of teachers!"
 
Kuno then went off to prepare for Akane's arrival, along with the rest of
the Horde of Hentai, leaving Ranma and Hung alone.
 
----------
 
<Are you sure about this?> Ranma asked.
 
Hung shrugged. <Hey, we got him to leave us alone now.>
 
<Yeah, but Akane's going to get creamed! She's no match for Kuno! We've seen
her fighting style and the only reason why she wins is because he holds
back! Now he won't!>
 
<Yeah. So I'm actually doing her a favor.>
 
<Huh?>
 
<Listen. Akane may think that she's the best there is, but she's never had
any real challenge, nor any reason to get better. Well now, I'm giving her a
reason to improve. She's been sheltered all her life and had everything
handed to her. Let's face it, she's spoiled. Well, it's high time that she
gets a reality check. Back in old series, she's always saying that she's a
martial artist and that no one takes her seriously. Well, let's see how she
does when someone DOES get serious. If she wants something, she's going to
have to work at it, just like everyone else.>
 
<I... guess. Still... Kuno?>
 
<What better way to get her motivated? Ah, here she comes. This ought to be
interesting.>
 
----------
 
Akane was feeling proud of herself as she headed toward the main gates. Last
night she had managed to get to the fourth round of Street Fighter III and
was confident that her skills had improved. She couldn't wait to try out her
new techniques on the Horde and Kuno, though she had done nothing but move a
joystick and press some buttons. She had assumed that those special moves
were now ingrained into her body. She'd show that Ranma a thing or two!
 
To be continued...
 
Author's notes
 
Once again, I stress that I'm not really TRYING with this story. I'm just
letting my imagination run wild and letting this story go along without any
plans. Ideas just come to me and I incorporate them into the fanfic. I'm
just having some fun and making this as ridiculously funny and outrageous as
I can.
 
(1)- Skysaber gave me this idea and I liked it.
 
(2)- How many times have we heard this?