Insert Self
Disclaimer: I have no idea of what I'm doing, but I'm doing it anyway.
< >: Thoughts
Chapter 2
Are You Sure About This?
<See Ranma? I told you that it wouldn't be hard to find your Mom's
address. And she's still alive, but your father never told you.
Surprise, surprise, surprise.> Hung said that last bit in the most
sarcastic tone he could manage.
Ranma Saotome could only shake his head in disbelief as he and his
merged companion walked toward a small house that belonged to one
Nodoka Saotome; wife of Genma Saotome. He was currently in male form
after stopping by a neighborhood café for hot water.
<So just how do you know who my Mom is?!>
Hung sighed. <I told you before Ranma, you're past is more or less an
open book to me. I know your basic background and it was a no-brainer
to look up your parents' address in the National Register. Of course,
being raised by that dope Genma, it probably never would have occurred
to you.>
<Hey!>
<Sorry. I know that living with that idiot was the only life you knew,
but I can't help myself. I'm really disgusted at how you turned out in
the original series. I guess that's the main reason why I wrote all
those fanfics. Now I find myself in a position to actually help you
and make this life better.>
<Hey! It's my life, you know!>
<Yeah, and so far, you haven't done much with it but let Genma control
it. According to what I've seen in your memories, you haven't made one
single decision on your own and you're totally dependent on that
moron.>
<Huh? My memories?! What are you talking about?!>
Hung shrugged in the figurative sense and replied. <Oh, did I forget
to mention that in addition to being able to use your body, I also
have access to all your knowledge and memories? And let me tell you
one thing. There isn't much variety in here. Most of your mind is
focused on what Genma had taught you about martial arts, all those
crappy morals and rules of his and not much else. You've got no
interests, no hobbies, no plans on what to do with the rest of your
life, NO ideas on how to be TACTFUL, social skills are a joke, and
there's almost nothing in here on what to do with girls! All these
sections are practically empty. It's nothing but martial arts, martial
arts and martial arts, which doesn't mean squat in situations that
don't require fighting. There's a LOT of bare areas in here. Maybe I
should put up a sign that says Space for Rent.>
By this time, Ranma was getting really steamed at being berated at
this unwanted presence inside of him.
Hung noted the buildup of emotion, but paid it little heed. <You can
get mad at me as much as you want, but it's the truth. And if you
think that you can solve everything with your fists and that inflated
ego of yours, then it's no wonder that Genma was able to control you
for so long, and why you were such a pushover for Nabiki in the
original series. In any case, we'll discuss more about how to get you
to be less of a boor later. Right now, we have to deal with that
Seppuku Pledge. If we can get your mother to see that you really are a
'man among men,' then she won't be trying to kill us and Genma will
have one less way of controlling you.>
Ranma stiffened a bit. After leaving Genma a block away from the Tendo
dojo and going off to search for Nodoka's house, Hung had told him
about the suicide pact that Ranma had inadvertently signed when he was
five. He didn't believe it until Hung coaxed out Ranma's earliest
childhood memories and made them crystal clear in his mind. Ranma saw
himself doing some kind of finger painting on a document which had
Genma's signature on it. When Hung zoomed in on it, Ranma almost had a
stroke.
<You really don't think my Mom would actually...?>
<Believe me Ranma, it's best to get this out of the way as soon as
possible. If she's like the canon series, then it shouldn't be too
hard for us to convince her that you're manly enough, despite the
curse. About seventy percent of all the fanfics I've read and the
original series have her as an understanding person, (though I think
she has some really weird definitions on manliness). However, I can't
rely on those. So I guess we're going to have to wing it. In any case,
you haven't seen your mother for over ten years and that's not good
for you.>
<Yeah, well...>
<Hey, it's okay Ranma. I understand. I'm pretty sure that everything
will be all right.> Hung then noticed a nearby video arcade. <Hey!
Great!> Hung then took control and pulled Ranma toward the
establishment.
<What are you doing?!>
<We're going to go play some games while I figure out how to handle
your Mom.>
<I don't play that stuff!>
<Well, I do, and some of the best moves in my stories were inspired
from the arcade. Besides, it could give me some ideas on some new
moves.> Hung then made a beeline toward a row of games in particular
with titles like Mortal Kombat 4, Killer Instinct 2, King of Fighters
2000, and Marvel Vs Capcom 2.
----------
Later, at Nodoka's home...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
THUD!
Ranma-chan and Hung looked down at Nodoka after she had fainted from
seeing the transformation. When they first arrived at the house,
Ranma's mother had been overjoyed to be reunited with her son after a
decade-long separation. Then they showed her the curse.
<Uhhhhh... all things considered, I think she took it rather well,
don't you think Ranma?>
----------
"So you see, Mrs. Saotome, in actuality, this curse doesn't make your
son any less of a man." Hung said while using Ranma's voice. He had
just told her an abbreviated version of the events that occurred at
Jusenkyo. "Ranma's just as much a man INSIDE, even though he doesn't
look like one on the outside right now."
"What are you saying?" Ranma's mother asked as she stared at the
red-haired girl before her. "You're not my son!"
"Uhhhh... yeah, technically speaking I'm not. I...." <Think of
something quick, Hung!>
"You're what?"
"I'm.... the spirit of the girl who drowned in that spring fifteen
hundred years ago."
<SAY WHAT?!> Ranma mentally gasped.
Hung then made Ranma-chan's hands clasp together while bowing her head
as if praying. "I would have gone to Heaven and become an angel when
your son's brave and noble spirit freed my soul from that horrible
spring, but alas! Because of the sins of my past life, I am not
allowed entrance into Kami-sami's realm until I atone for those
misdeeds. As such, the Almighty has commanded me to remain within your
son's body and help Ranma attain true manliness, for your husband had
failed in his promise to you." <Oh boy! Is this ever corny! I'm
starting to sound like Kuno!>
<WHO?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!>
However, the act worked as Nodoka's expression became softer, though
no less shocked. "W-W-What do you mean that Genma had failed?"
<Okay... I got her attention. > "Mrs. Saotome, I am well aware of the
Pledge of Seppuku that your husband had signed in his promise to make
Ranma a man among men. However, Genma Saotome had done nothing but
sell off your son's future on various occasions to feed his fat
stomach, kept him isolated from others and taught him the values of
the lowest of criminals."
"What?"
"It is true! I have seen the past through Ranma and know of Genma's
crimes. When Ranma was no more than an infant, your husband engaged
him to the daughter of the Daijkoku Clan for a bowl of rice, a fish,
and two pickles, then stole him back."
"W-W-WHAT?!"
<HUH?!> Ranma mentally gasped.
"It'a all true, and there's more! When your son was six, Genma
blatantly STOLE the dowry of the daughter of the Kuonji clan despite
the fact that he promised to engage Ranma to his childhood friend
Ucchan. Then he went back on his word and abandoned the poor girl on
the side of the road. Does not a TRUE man among men keep his promises?
Should not such a man be honorable?"
"W-W-Well, yes he does." Nodkoa agreed. "He should have great honor."
Hung then took a dramatic pose. "Furthermore, your husband had thrown
your son into a dangerous and deadly training technique called the Cat
Fist, without first reading the entire manual. He sacrificed his son's
sanity and safety, all for a technique that was ultimately worthless.
He stole other people's pets and caused great pain to others as well.
Should not a TRUE man among men be responsible for his actions and
uphold the greatest of virtues?"
"Yes, he should."
"Indeed. However, the greatest crime of all was making poor Ranma
totally ignorant in the ways of feminine beauty. He has been alone all
of his life. Ranma does not peep, he does not know of the joys and
intimacies that a TRUE man among men should be aware of with a nice
and beautiful girl. How can he give you the many grandchildren that
you so richly deserve after years of loneliness? Alas, we must blame
your husband in this deficiency, for he has truly FAILED in his duty
to make Ranma... a MAN AMONG MEN!"
"Is... this all true, Ranma?"
Before Ranma could respond, Animeaddiction took over again and said,
"Yes. As Kami-sama is my witness, it is ALL true. Genma has dragged
the family name through the mud with his greedy and careless ways.
However, all is not lost, for Ranma still can and WILL become a man.
He has already accepted my help for he has bravely let my spirit
inhabit his body, though it does cost him a measure of his manly
appearance. Is that not a great quality of a true man among men; to
aid others in need and better oneself?"
"Oh Ranma!" Nodoka embraced her 'manly' child as Ranma could only gape
in silence. "How manly you have become!"
----------
<You didn't have to lay it on so thick!> Ranma argued as he and his
mental companion settled down in Ranma's old room. <You LIED to my
mother!>
<In the words of Mr. Spock, I... exaggerated. Everything I said about
Genma was true and she's not going to force us to commit ritual
suicide. We get to stay with her, instead of spending the next two
years hiding from her at the Tendo Dojo. You get to spend time with
your Mom, which I know that you're looking forward to. Genma doesn't
know we're here, and if he did, he won't dare come to this place for
fear of that pledge. Furthermore, he can't press that stupid promise
to unite the schools on us, since we're not at the Tendos and I think
it's best that we never do go there. Your Mom is pretty steamed at
him, but it's not like he didn't have it coming. You'll get to do
things on your own, (with my guidance of course), without that idiot
always trying to run and ruin your life. So all in all, it's not so
bad, right? Or do you WANT to go back to your father and all that
crap?>
This stopped Ranma cold. A lot of what Hung had said made sense. He
did want to spend time with his mother and being away from his father
wasn't totally undesirable. Maybe this could work out, though Ranma
still was irritated at all the times Hung had taken control of his
body. It unnerved him that Animeaddiction knew so much about him, his
family and what was going to happen.
----------
Near the Tendo Dojo...
<Now where did that ungrateful son of mine go to?!> The panda thought
after finally regaining consciousness. He wondered just when Ranma
could hit THAT hard. He sighed, then heard a familiar rumble in the
bottomless pit that he called a stomach. He figured that he could find
the boy later. After all, the boy was totally dependent on his father
and would eventually return to him. He had Ranma under his complete
control and knew that his overdeveloped sense of honor would compel
him to come back and fulfill the pledge.
In the mean time, he figured that he should just see his old friend
Soun and get his stomach filled.
Of course, as he neared the Tendo residence, he neglected a few
details, such as the fact that he was still a panda and that his
friend and his three daughters were anxiously awaiting the arrival of
said future heir of the Anything Goes.
----------
That night...
Animeaddiction was once again putting Ranma's body through its paces
as his host slept. At the moment, he was practicing in the backyard on
one particular move that he had seen, while playing Mortal Kombat 4.
<I KNOW it's possible to do it! I've just got to concentrate! It's
like the Chestnut Training. Let the ki boost my movement!>
The district remained silent for several more hours, but a shout was
heard to break that silence, followed by a small explosion of a wall
being destroyed.
"ALL RIGHT!"
----------
A day later, at the Saotome home...
Nodoka had wasted no time in getting Ranma registered for school. To
Hung's dismay, there was only one school that was available to take
her son so late in the semester; Furinken High. Typical.
Ranma's mother also made a note to call the house repairman to fix the
hole in the backyard wall that her son had inadvertently made during
his late night training session.
"Take care, Ranma!" Nodoka called out as she waved goodbye to her
offspring. "And make certain that you listen to your... guardian
angel!"
Ranma shuddered as he hefted his book bag and walked to school.
<Guardian angel?>
<I think she means me.> Hung said cheerfully. <And you could call me
that, since I've spent a lot of my time keeping you out of trouble.
And if I'm right, I'm going to be really busy today.>
<What are you talking about? It's just school.>
<That's what you think.>
Ranma thought for a moment, then changed the subject. <By the way.
What was Mom talking about when she said that she didn't blame me for
making that hole in the wall?>
<I guess I went a little overboard last night during training.>
<Huh?>
<You'll see.>
----------
Meanwhile, coming from another direction...
"I can't believe that Dad did that to us, last night! I HATE BOYS!"
"Oh come on now, Akane." Nabiki soothed. "This Ranma person didn't
show up so you don't have to worry about it now."
"It would be a lot better if Dad and that friend of his would forget
about it totally!" The short-tempered girl said in a huff. "It's bad
enough that we now have a really weird houseguest that changes into a
panda, but to engage us to someone we never even met?!"
"Save your energy Akane. You're going to need it." Her older sister
pointed toward the front gate of the school where the Horde of Hentai
were gathering.
Akane let off a snarl as she charged into the fray.
----------
<Hey, what's going on?> Ranma wondered as he approached the main gate.
<It's nothing, Ranma. It's just the usual,
beat-Akane-so-you-can-date-her routine. None of our business.>
<What are you talking about...?> Ranma then noticed that a long-haired
girl was being attacked by a group of boys armed with various sports
equipment.
Hung already felt Ranma's body begin to react, but firmly took control
of the martial artist's voluntary skeletal muscles. <Keep out of it,
Ranma. You interfere and you'll be getting us into more trouble.>
<But they're attacking her!>
<Take a look, Ranma. Her fighting abilities are nowhere near ours, but
those guys she's up against have little to no skill and are just
attacking randomly, not as a team. And when Kuno shows up, he'll
probably go easy on her, as usual. So keep walking Ranma. This doesn't
concern us and... whoops!>
Hung then made Ranma's body execute a spin kick to deflect an incoming
soccer player that had been belted by Akane. This move instantly
caught the attention of those who were watching the morning brawl and
especially caught the eye of one Nabiki Tendo.
----------
The middle daughter of Soun Tendo nodded from her vantage point on the
second floor of the school. As soon as Akane started fighting off her
admirers, she had quickly gotten into the school and began setting up
betting pools on how fast Akane could finish off the mob and Kuno. She
had noted the newcomer as soon as he came through the gates, but then
things got interesting when he kicked that soccer player away from
him... and right back at Akane who had her back turned at the moment.
----------
<Aw cripes!> Hung moaned as he saw the boy hurtle straight for her.
WHAM!
Akane was now sprawled on the ground and out like a light as the rest
of the mob and everyone else at school looked on in shock.
Akane Tendo, the best martial artist in Nerima, had just been
defeated.
<Damn! Well, I think I know where this is going to go.>
----------
"Did you see that?"
"Akane's out cold!"
"Does that mean that...?"
"Was it Shimada of the soccer team or the new guy?"
"Just when I was about to beat her!"
----------
Hung could only sigh and shake Ranma's head while pinching the bridge
of his nose. Since that boy was unconscious and therefore did not
count, the school was going to think that Ranma had defeated Akane.
And if that was the case...
<What's going on? Why is everybody staring at us?> Ranma asked in a
bewildered state.
Hung wasn't even paying attention. <Let's see... Akane had just gotten
knocked out by me, although by accident. If I'm right, then Kuno
should be showing up in three... two... one... zero!>
"KNAVE!"
<Bingo!> Hung then resigned himself to the inevitable meeting with the
so-called Blue Thunder, Shooting Star or whatever he was calling
himself at the moment. <Oh well. At least this gives me a chance to
try out that new move.>
<What new move?> Ranma asked.
Stepping out from behind a nearby tree, the wannabe samurai and
self-proclaimed great master of the blade made his grand appearance.
Of course, being already familiar with Kuno, Hung was not impressed by
either his stature or his posturing.
"Who are you cur, that would attack the beauteous Akane Tendo in such
a cowardly and dishonorable fashion?"
Ranma's witty reply to that was, "Huh?"
Kuno went on with his accusations as he pointed with his bokken. "Know
this knave! I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, the undefeated captain of the
Kendo Club, the rising star of the fencing world and Blue Thunder of
Furinken High shall not let this transgression go unpunished! You had
used dark sorcery and foul methods to have defeated the lovely Akane!"
"What the Hell are you talking about? It was an accident!"
"Silence! For your foul deed, there can be only one result! Prepare to
feel the Blue Thunder's righteous blade of justice!"
Kuno charged in and swung at Ranma's head. Ranma however, was no
longer there as he made a lazy backflip and tossed his book bag off to
one side.
"I STILL don't know what you're talking about, but I'm Ranma Saotome
of the Saotome School of the Anything Goes Martial Arts..." He then
landed in a ready stance a few meters away. "... and I accept your
challenge."
----------
<So THIS is Ranma Saotome, eh?> Nabiki thought as she assessed the
young man. <Ooh, he IS cute. This could be extremely interesting.>
----------
"Hey, look! That new guy who just defeated Akane is taking on Kuno!"
"The guy must have a death wish or something!"
"I don't know. If he beat Akane..."
"Hey, it was just a fluke!"
----------
<Finish him off fast, Ranma.> Hung warned.
<Hey! Don't go telling me how to fight!>
<In about three minutes, it's going to start raining. Now unless you
WANT people to see the curse, then you'd better take this idiot out
now!>
Ranma glanced up at the sky and sure enough, storm clouds were
rumbling above them. He shrugged. <Heh. I can beat this jerk, no
problem! I've got plenty of time.>
<No you don't. And if you're not going to take this situation
seriously, then I am.> With that, Animeaddiction took control.
<Hey! What are you...?>
At that moment, Kuno charged in with bokken raised high, intending to
cleave his opponent in two.
Hung however, had other ideas. As soon as the wooden blade began its
downswing, he made Ranma's legs do the splits, causing the top of his
body to drop low while thrusting out with his right fist.
Guess which part of Kuno's anatomy it connected with?
----------
WHOMP!
"EYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"
Kuno slumped forward as his weapon fell from his hands and clattered
to the ground.
----------
"Oooooooooohhhhhhhh!" All the male spectators said at once as their
legs clenched together in reflex.
----------
WHABOOM!
----------
"Oooooooooowwwwwww!" The teens said collectively as Hung added insult
to injury by sending Kuno flying with a brutal uppercut to the chin.
As he tracked the kendoist on his downward arc, he tensed up, focused
his ki and shot forward with his right leg extended. He moved so fast
that he left several trailing images of Ranma's body behind him.
WHAM!
Kuno was struck in the abdomen, which sent him flying toward the main
gate. He crashed into the concrete, making a deep depression before
slumping down into unconsciousness.
----------
"That was...." One boy gasped in shock.
"...Johnny Cage's Shadow Kick and Ball Breaker from Mortal Kombat!"
Another one exclaimed.
----------
Hung couldn't resist as he whipped out a pair of shades from out of
nowhere and put them on while striking a pose.
"Flawless Victory!"
Inside their head, Ranma could only stare in shock.
<How did he... I... mean, I.... do that?>
Hung shrugged as he then hurried inside the school. Thirty seconds
later, it began to rain, just as Akane regained consciousness.
"Oooh... what hit me?"
----------
"Class, we have a new student joining us here at Furinken High. His
name is Ranma Saotome and he's just come in from China, so let's all
give him a warm welcome."
Ranma bowed to the class as the teacher finished with the
introductions.
"However, that does not excuse him or Miss Tendo from coming in late,
so the two of them will have to stand out in the hall."
Sitting at her desk, Akane growled as she glared at the newcomer.
After being told by her friends on what had happened earlier, she was
even more steamed that the boy who had 'defeated' her, was also the
same person in which her father wanted to engage her or her sisters
to.
----------
<C'mon! You have to tell me how you did that move! > Ranma demanded as
he and Akane stood outside the classroom with buckets of water in
their hands.
<What? The Ball Breaker? Anyone could do that, even you.>
<Not that! I mean, Johnny Cage's Shadow Kick! I thought Mortal Kombat
was just a video game that we played yesterday!>
<It was... until I brought it out into reality. That was the move that
I practiced last night, which caused that hole in your mother's
backyard wall.>
<How did you do it? I have to know!>
<Why?>
<What do you mean, why?!>
<I mean, why should I? It's not like you were interested before in
anything I had to offer. You totally disregard any advice I try to
give to you and scoffed at all the times I saved you from trouble.
Heck, I even got you back with your mother without so much as one iota
of appreciation. So why are you interested NOW?>
<Aw come on! Please? That move looked awesome in the game, but it was
even better in real life! Can't we... make a deal or something?>
Hung smiled a bit. If there was one way to get Ranma motivated, it was
to appeal to his insatiable desire for martial arts. Animeaddiction
had just given his host a small taste and now Ranma was hungry for
more.
<Well.... I guess I could let you in on how I did that move, plus a
few others that put everything your father taught you to shame.
However...>
<What?>
<I know you, Ranma. The more moves that you master, then the bigger
that ego of yours gets, which means that we'll end up in a LOT more
crap. It's a full-time job just keeping you out of trouble now. And
there's still all those empty areas in this head of yours that have
nothing to do with martial arts. All the martial arts moves and every
arcade in the world aren't going to help you outside of a fight.>
<So what are you saying? That you're not going to show me how you did
that move?>
<I'm not saying that. Give me some time to think about it, and I'll
let you know.>
Ranma could only grit his teeth and fume in silence. If what Hung was
telling him was true, then his head had the secrets of some of the
most powerful martial arts ever. The problem was that only
Animeaddiction had the key to unlocking them.
"HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
Ranma then turned to see a very irate Akane Tendo glaring at him.
----------
If there was one thing that could get Akane riled, it was being
ignored. As soon as she and Ranma were standing outside, she had
decided to give him a piece of her mind. However, it seemed that she
was beneath his notice as he just stood and made some strange facial
expressions to himself. When he finally turned to her, her temper was
just about nearing the boiling point.
"Don't you act like I'm not here!"
Ranma shrugged. "What? I wasn't listening."
That comment really made Akane steamed. "This all your fault!"
"What are you talking about?"
"If you think I'm going to get engaged to you, then you'd better think
again! The whole school may think that I have to date a pervert like
you, but I'm not going to!"
Ranma was just about to retort to the 'pervert' crack, but Hung
decided to intervene. Now that he was meeting Akane face-to-face, he
was already disliking her arrogant and bratty attitude. Since she knew
about the engagement, he could assume that Genma was now at the Tendo
Dojo.
"You are one rude little girl. Correction... you are one rude, little
BRAT."
"What... did... you call me?" Akane's voice became low and dangerous.
"I don't know why you're calling me a pervert, since we've only just
met, though I guess you categorize all boys as such. And was I
speaking to you, before? No, I wasn't. I was just thinking to myself
and there was no reason for me to address you. As for what happened
this morning, it was all an accident, so I will apologize for that,
but I won't have anyone speak to me in such a way, especially from a
spoiled little princess who has to be the center of attention. It's
considered bad manners, but it seems that you were never taught
better."
"Just who do you think you are?!" Akane's hands clenched the handles
of her buckets, as if she was getting ready to throw their contents at
them.
Hung shrugged Ranma's shoulders. "Someone who doesn't really care what
you have to say." (1)
----------
"H-H-He's... her... fiancée?!" Kuno stuttered after Nabiki had told
him of a certain pledge to unit the schools.
"Well, actually..."
"FEAR NOT AKANE TENDO! YOUR TRUE LOVE SHALL SAVE YOU FROM THE CLUTCHES
OF THAT FOUL SORCERER!"
"... it hasn't been decided who he'll marry..." Nabiki shook her head
as Kuno ran out of the classroom. <I swear, you and Akane deserve each
other. Stuff goes in through one ear and out the other!> She also
noticed that Kuno was running funny and recalled what had happened.
<Well, it's not as if Ranma hit anything important. One might say that
was his contribution to birth control.> The middle daughter shuddered
at the thought of Kuno reproducing a lot of little Kunos. (2)
----------
<Well, let's see now. Since Akane knows about the pledge, then that
means Nabiki knows and is very likely to have told...>
"NEVER, RANMA SAOTOME!"
<Bingo!>
<Hey, what's going on?!> Ranma asked.
<It's us versus the Blue Blunder, Round Two. Jump!>
<Huh?> "WHOA!" Ranma jumped out of the way as a bokken sliced through
one of his pails, sending water splashing all over. He managed to
avoid getting wet, but Akane, being slower, screamed as her skirt
became drenched.
"You idiot!" She then threw one of her buckets at him.
Ranma dodged that one as well, then faced off against Kuno. "What's
your problem?!"
"I SHALL NEVER ACCEPT YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE TENDO!"
<And here it comes...> Hung sighed as the windows and doors of the
nearby classrooms opened up with mobs of students.
"AKANE! I THOUGHT YOU HATED BOYS!"
"WHEN'S THE WEDDING?"
"SO I GUESS THIS MEANS THAT YOU'RE NOT... YOU KNOW?"
As Akane tried to deny everything, she gave Ranma an especially
murderous glare. This was all his fault!
Kuno then began swinging his bokken at his foe, who nimbly dodged each
strike as he moved away from the crowds.
"This isn't the place to fight, Kuno. If you want to fight, then
follow me!"
"That I shall!"
The two began running through the hall as Ranma spotted an open
window.
"Here's a nice shortcut..."
<No, you don't!> Hung interrupted as he took over and made Ranma turn
violently to the right and run down the stairs.
<What are you doing?!>
<There's a pool down there, or have you forgotten about your curse
already?>
Ranma fumed a bit, though he could see Hung's point. <So what we gonna
do?>
<You can just sit back and relax. I've been wanting to try out some
new routines that I picked up yesterday, along with Johnny Cage's
Shadow Kick and Ball Breaker.>
<You're going to use those Mortal Kombat moves on him again?>
<Nah, I think I'll do Killer Instinct this time. It's time try out my
new Auto-Combo techniques.>
<Say what?>
----------
Just as Kuno and Ranma ran out of the school building, the entire
student population and some of the teaching staff were crowded at the
outer windows at the second and third floors.
As soon as the two combatants reached an area that was far enough away
from the pool and any other source of water, Hung turned to face off
against the insane kendoist.
"At last you have stopped running!" Tatewaki declared as he began
delivering a series of rapid thrusts at his nimble adversary. However,
having already trained in the Chestnut Technique and various other
speed exercises, Hung easily dodged each attack as he closed in on his
opponent.
He then began focusing the ki into the arms and legs and set off a
pattern of preprogrammed moves that he had ingrained into Ranma's
psychomotor control centers.
<TRIPLE COMBO!>
Kuno was abruptly halted in his attack as a spinning backfist slammed
into his face, followed by an elbow to the gut and then an uppercut to
the chin.
<SUPER COMBO!>
Before Tatewaki could recover, he then received three, fast jabs to
the chest, followed by a reverse-spin kick to the temple.
<HYPER COMBO!>
Ranma's body then automatically went into a double spin kick, followed
by an elbow to Kuno's chest, then a one-two combination to the face.
<BRUTAL COMBO!>
This was four rapid, short kicks to the chest, followed by a double
slap to the face.
<MASTER COMBO!>
By now, Kuno had a pretty good idea what a punching bag felt like as
he received three roundhouse kicks, a head butt, and three hard
straights to the nose.
<AWESOME COMBO!>
This was an eight-hit combination that included five, quick jabs, a
knee to the groin, and another double slap to the face.
<MONSTER COMBO!>
Hung decided to forego the nine-hit specialty for one extra shot. Kuno
received three, rapid kicks to the stomach, two double slaps, two jabs
to the nose and one roundhouse right.
<KING COMBO!>
Three spin kicks, two roundhouse rights, two spinning backfists, a
knee to the chin, then another to the groin again, and finishing off
with an open-palmed strike to the chest that sent Kuno staggering
back.
"I... fight... on!"
<ULTRA... COMBO!>
Kuno received... twelve roundhouse kicks, eleven jabs to the face, ten
double slaps, nine body slams, eight spinning backfists, seven rabbit
punches, six piledrivers... FIVE KNEES TO THE GROIN... four karate
chops, three airplane spins, two head butts... and an uppercut into a
tree! (Total: 88 hits!)
----------
Ranma could only stare anew in shock after seeing Hung totally
demolish Kuno. Their opponent had bruises on his bruises as he was
slumped down against the tree he had impacted with.
<That... was the Auto-Combo Technique?>
<Yeah. I figured that if the Killer Instinct game could give you
automatic combinations, just by pressing buttons, then why not have
some moves preprogrammed into your psychomotor reflexes? Pretty cool,
huh?>
<You've GOT to show me how that works!>
----------
Up on the third floor, Akane was speechless after witnessing Kuno
being thoroughly, undeniably, without a doubt in anyone's mind...
defeated.
<Okay... so he knows some moves. I'm still the best martial artist in
Nerima! We'll see just how he'll do against a TRUE martial artist!>
To be continued...
Author's notes
Well, that takes care of Chapter 2. Sorry about my take on the Twelve
Days of Christmas, but I couldn't resist describing Kuno being beaten
that way. As I have said before, this story has no plot or any real
direction. It's all just for laughs, for me at least.
(1) Yeah, I know that I'm sounding harsh against Akane, but I did warn
people that Akane is going to be eating lots of crow. In any case,
it's like Metroanime's story Retake, in which his character also
dislikes Akane because of her attitude and her tendency for violence.
I'm just acting the way I think I would act if I were in this
situation with my knowledge of what she's like.
(2) In this storyline, Nabiki only considers Kuno as an income
generator and really doesn't like him, like some other authors have
written her. Some people say that her money-grubbing ways and his vast
wealth makes them perfect for each other, but I feel that she could do
a LOT better.