I MY RANMA! STRAWBERRY EGGS 1/2
Disclaimer: Do we really have to go through this? Oh all right. Ranma 1/2 and Strawberry Eggs belong to their own creators and I had nothing to do with them. Are you happy now?
< >: Thoughts
Ranma-chan: Ranma's female side
Ranma-sensei: Teacher Ranma
At the Gochiso Boarding House in Nagasaki, an alarm blared as if there was an air raid. Over an elaborate speaker system, the landlady of the property announced that she was about to collect the rent from her tenants, which included meals and utilities, totaling up to 16,000 yen. As always, two of her tenants were determined to hold off paying the rent for as long as possible.
However, Lulu wasn't your ordinary landlady. After all, it wasn't every day that the landlady collected the rent with a revolver.
Lulu was a shrunken old woman, barely two-and-a-half feet in height and looked to be in her late seventies. The top of her head was wrapped in a red kerchief and she wore loose-fitting robes and sandals. She seemed too frail and weak to be doing anything as strenuous as run a boarding house and a school supplies store for the local academy, but whenever she got serious about things, like collecting the rent, then one had better watch out!
Just as soon as she opened the door to a tenant's apartment, then a figure jumped out and flashed a large reflecting board at her.
Lulu raised her arms to shield her eyes from the glare as the tenant went running off.
"I'll pay you the rent later, you old bag!" The tenant said with arrogance as he ran.
Lulu stood over her fallen target while holding up her still smoking 44 Magnum revolver. She smiled as she looked down at her tenant as he moaned in pain. "Don't worry, Morikoji. I only used plastic bullets... this time." With one smooth motion, she plucked his wallet out of his back pocket and counted out the money that he owed her.
Now it was time to collect the rent from the other deadbeat. As soon as she flung open the door to his living quarters, she saw him sprawled on his futon, appearing to all as a rotting corpse. There were even a few flies buzzing about him as he lay there with his eyes glazed and his mouth hanging open. Lula wasn't fooled.
Tofukuji immediately sat as a shot struck near where his head was. He looked nervously about and recoiled in terror as he saw his landlady holding up her gun.
"You've been playing possum for last few months! You're getting soft, Tofukuji!"
With those words, Lulu reached under his futon and pulled out his hidden stash of yen notes.
"Anything but that!"
"Give it up!"
"Anything but that!" The man pleaded again.
Lulu readied her gun, as she stood in front of the apartment to the new guy who had just moved in the previous night.
<Heh. Let's see what you've got! >
She kicked in the door, dove forward like a Green Beret and came up in a kneeling position with her gun held out. However, what greeted her was not her newest tenant, but rather a hairy, four-legged canine with a sign on its neck that read, Ďbe back later.í
Lulu snorted as she holstered her gun. <Shoot! A normal person is a lot harder to deal with! >
The local high school...
"What do you mean that I canít teach here?!" Ranma cried out as he addressed the stiff-lipped principal and the vice-principal.
The head of the junior high gave the former Nerima resident a look of disdain as she replied. "You canít be a teacher here because you are a man, and we only hire women here."
"Say what?! What does being a man have to do with my ability to teach?"
The older womanís expression became sterner as she took on a stoic air that reminded Ranma of Soun Tendo "At this school, we advocate the power of love and care that only a woman can impart to our students! A man is nothing more than a brute and cannot possibly show the kind of refinement and love that we woman possess! To allow a man to be a teacher here would be unthinkable! That is why we had fired all of our former male teachers. We are also enrolling less male students every year. It our intention to make this academy into an all-girls institution, where the finest education can be taught to women alone!"
Ranma was sorely tempted to physically show this snob what he thought about the schoolís doctrines, but decided that it wouldnít help in this situation. Before turning to leave, he gave the snob some parting words.
"Men do have the ability to show love in their own way, but unless you open your eyes, youíll never see it!"
Later, at the Gochiso garage...
"I should have warned you. That old bat hates men and ever since she became principal, men have been denied the chance to teach there." Lulu remarked as she worked on a motorcycle.
Ranma growled as he sat nearby. After telling the landlady that he didnít have the money to pay for the rent, he had been expecting to be kicked out, along with his dog. However, the old woman showed some surprising sympathy and began explaining the situation at the school.
"That... witch! Iíd like to show her up!"
Lulu became silent at this and thought about it. She then asked Ranma quietly, "Do you really mean it?"
Lulu turned to face him. "Do you really want to show those snobs what youíve got as a teacher, regardless of what gender you are?"
Ranma gazed at the old woman for a long time, then nodded. "Yeah. Theyíre just waiting for me to back down, but I donít back down from any challenge!"
The landlady smiled as she motioned for him to follow her. "It might be fun to tick off that old bat. Well then, come with me."
"Youíve GOT to be kidding!" Ranma gasped after being led to an underground facility. He became more uncomfortable when he was presented with an array of womenís undergarments. "Youíre not suggesting that I put...?"
Lulu shrugged. "Well, you want to prove that youíve got what it takes to be a teacher, right? Then it wonít matter if youíre a man or a woman. And this is the only way for you to get hired. So whatís it going to be?"
Ranma gritted his teeth as he reluctantly picked up a pair of panties. <Man! I thought I had put that Ranko stuff behind me!> After all the times that he refused to wear women's underwear, he now found himself back in that same situation.
"Well? Are you going to do it or not? Iím not helping you just because I sympathize with you. Thatís part of the reason, but I also want that rent!"
Ranma realized that he had no other choice and nodded.
The landlady nodded in return. "Good. Now itís time for your crash course in how to act like a woman."
"I wonít need it."
He stood up and went to a nearby sink. As he turned on the cold water faucet, he sighed as he glanced back to the old crone. "Iíve... already got some experience... on how to act like a woman."
After getting over the initial shock and one explanation later about the Jusenkyo Curse, Lulu then began helping Ranma-chan with her wardrobe. Several different looks were tried, but they finally settled on a modern and somewhat daring ensemble, which included a leather miniskirt, low-heeled pumps, black stockings, and white blouse and jacket top.
"Okay! Now get out there, get that job and earn that rent!"
Ranma-chan nodded as she headed out the door. "You got it, Baa-chan!"
"Donít call me Baa-chan!"
The principal's office...
"Hello. My name is Ranma Amawa. I'm here for the position of Phys Ed instructor."
The principal nodded as she assessed the newcomer. Ranma Amawa was a striking woman with long, scarlet tresses that flowed down her back. Her face was oval-shaped, her form was lithe and slender, and she moved with a certain grace.
"Tell me, Miss Amawa. What experience do you have with teaching?"
"Well, I'll admit that that I haven't had much experience, but I am very determined. Furthermore, I am very familiar with the martial arts."
"Martial arts?" The vice-principal said with a little concern. "Isn't that... a bit violent?"
The principal nodded. "Yes, our school advocates love and caring to nurture our students. Having a teacher that knows the martial arts is somewhat... disturbing."
Ranma-chan shrugged. "I don't think that it's disturbing at all. In fact, I find that martial arts helps to gain focus, patience, discipline and can be an effective teaching method, especially in physical fitness. And of course, there's nothing wrong with a woman who is able to defend herself, is there? That's what martial arts was made for in the first place."
The principal gave Ranma-chan a suspicious look, then slowly nodded. "All right. Let us see how much patience you have gained from martial arts. At noon, we shall hold a trial gym class. If you are able to show that you have what it takes to be a teacher here, then you will be hired."
A young student by the name of Fuuko Kazuha was concerned. She had just been notified that she was to be the test subject for a new applicant for the position of gym teacher. The fourteen-year-old girl's hands shook as she put on the school's sports uniform for girls, which consisted of a white top, and a thick, flowing, pleated skirt. She struggled with the skirt's clasp, then fell flat on her face. She was known to be the clumsiest student in school. Ranma-chan would soon have her work cut out for her.