Cat Fist Fury Standard disclaimer is in effect. <>: Thoughts Chapter 6 Aloha Furinkan Ranma was the subject of much backslapping and adoration when he arrived at school the morning after the tournament. "Way to go Cojiro!" "You were totally awesome!" "You really put that stuck-up snob Kuno in his place!" "You totally rock!" Ranma was a little more than embarrassed at all the attention that he was getting, but he smiled back at his admirers as he went to his first class. Sometime later, Ranma decided to visit his new friends at the gymnasium. Fortunately, they had recovered enough from the previous day to attend school. As he entered the building, which was still undergoing repairs, due to the damage caused by the tournament, he was warmly greeted by his teammates. "Hey Cojiro! Over here!" Shang said from a corner. Ranma looked over and frowned as he saw that the Chinese boy's right arm was in a sling. As he walked over to him, he was approached by the other members of Himoto's fighting team. "Hey buddy!" Sakoto said. "Way to go! You really cleaned Furinkan's clock yesterday!" "Aw, it was nothing. You guys did pretty good, considering who you went up against." "Thanks for the flattery, but we all know who pulled Himoto's fat out of the fire yesterday." Sodan said. He had a small bandage on his forehead, where Kuno's bokken had struck him. "We got to admit, that Ultimate Neko Ken was pretty impressive." "How do you know?" Ranma asked. "You guys weren't there." "No, but Kai was in the crowds with a camcorder. He showed us the tape of you in action. Right now, he's probably selling clips to people. I swear, he's just about as bad as Nabiki." "Who's Nabiki?" "Nabiki Tendo, the Ice Queen of Furinkan. She's the older sister of Akane and she's what you would call a mercenary." "Mercenary?" "Uh huh. I know about her because I used to go to Furinkan. She's into blackmail, extortion and information gathering. If you want the dirt on someone, she's the one to see, for a price. She also sets up betting pools. I'm pretty sure she had one going yesterday. I guess when you won, you must have really upset her profits!" "I see." Ranma said quietly. Then another thought came to him. "By the way, since you used to go to Furinkan, maybe you can confirm some rumors I've been hearing from there." "Like what?" "Well, I was considering to enroll at Furinkan when I came to Tokyo, but when I heard some crazy stories, I decided to enroll here because those stories sounded too unbelievable!" "Believe me! Anything that you have heard from Furinkan is true!" Sodan affirmed. "You mean, the part where they have some crazy Hawaiian nut for a principal?" "You got it! He was the main reason why I transferred to this school! When he showed up at the beginning of the semester, he made up this stupid rule that all boys had to get buzz cuts and all girls get bowl cuts!" "Are you serious?" Ranma began to unconsciously finger his ponytail. "I'm serious! Then he made all the students go chasing around the school, looking for some stupid coconut that had a 'get-out- of-rules-free' paper in it! He set up weird traps and stuff and even hadseveral dozen principal's offices to annoy the students! After giving him several rounds of torture, we finally managed to make him give up that haircut idea for a while! Since then, he's been coming up with all sorts of ways to torment us! I left for Himoto soon after that coconut incident. From what I've heard, he's still after everyone's hair! I've seen him leap out and cut off a student's hair in three seconds with those barber shears of his! The longer your hair is, the more likely a target you become!" "Whoa, that's weird!" It was at that moment that Kai came running up to the group. "Hey guys! Look what I've got!" He began waving a handful of large denominations of yen notes. "Hey Cojiro! Your fighting style is really raking in the big bucks!" "Oh really?" Ranma responded. "I'll say! That tape I made of you fighting Furinkan yesterday is the hottest item on the market! Lots of students are wondering if you could start a class and teach that Neko Ken of yours! They're willing to shell out a lot of money to attend!" "This could help out our sports and other physical activities clubs." Sodan suggested. Ranma sighed and sadly shook his head. "I'm sorry guys, but I can't teach anyone how to do Ultimate Neko Ken." "Huh? Why not?" Kai asked. "I can't teach anyone because of two reasons. First of all, I'm still developing this fighting style. I'm not even sure what limits I can attain with it. Secondly and most importantly, the initial training to this style is far too dangerous. I found out the hard way that learning the technique would cause severe mental trauma. The technique can also be lethal to innocent bystanders. I was lucky because I found a way to control it. Purely by accident and it can't be duplicated." "I hate to tell you guys but Ultimate Neko Ken is off limits." "Aw come on Cojiro. You can bend a little on that right?" Kai pleaded. "I said no and I mean no!" "But?" "Leave him alone Kai. If he says that it's too dangerous and he can't teach it to anyone, then we should respect his wishes. After all, he won the No Holds Barred tournament for us." "Oh yeah! Speaking about the tournament, I just heard some really important news from Furinkan!" "What was it?" Ranma asked. "Because they lost to you yesterday, the entire student population had to submit to buzz cuts and bowl cuts!" "What?! I thought the principal gave up on that idea!" "Apparently not! It seems that Kuno had signed a contract with the principal, confident that Furinkan would win! Of course, he was too busy bragging about his 'superior fighting skills,' that he didn't bother to read the fine print. If Furinkan won the tournament, then the principal would resign. However, if they lost?" "Then everyone would get buzz cuts and bowl cuts." Ranma finished. "You got it!" Kai nodded his head. "After you had beaten their team, he put everyone under those shears of his! And get this, you know that Ukyo guy you fought?" "Yes?" Ranma began to get nervous. "Turns out that he wasn't a guy, he's a girl! Cute girl too! She just barely managed to convince him that she's female and escaped getting a buzz cut! She got a bowl cut with all the other girls! Of course this didn't make her any happier though! Everyone is really sore at Kuno for signing that contract! They also have a lot of hostility toward you!" "Hey! How was I supposed to know that this would happen?" "That may be true, but they kind of blame you for this mess! Not that it's any of our business! Hey Cojiro! Where are you going?" Ranma neither looked back nor answered as he headed out of the gym. Ranma arrived at his rented apartment an hour later and headed toward the bedroom closet. He then hauled out his knapsack and started searching. Ranma took out a small bottle, which contained a clear, emerald-green liquid. It's top was capped with an eye-dropper. Pocketing the bottle, he then began to look through the pages of a telephone directory. As he flipped through the sections for Furinkan's address, he came across a name of an okonomiyaki shop that just recently opened up. His eyes widened as he read the ad out loud. "Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. Owned by? Ukyo Kuonji." Later that day, Ranma walked down the street toward the establishment where his childhood friend was running her business. He stopped for a moment at the front door, gathering his courage as he prepared to face his old friend again. He took a deep breath and entered the building. Ukyo looked absolutely miserable as she stood behind the grill. She good reason to be despondent. He hair, which had been a beautiful mass of brown tresses the day before, had been cropped down to an awful bowl cut. She had on her back another large spatula and several small ones on her bandoleer. She noted that someone had entered her restaurant and put on a small, cheerful face. "Welcome to the Ucchan's. May I? YOU!!!" Ranma didn't like the way her expression had become hostile, and braced himself for the worst. Ukyo grabbed at her throwing spatulas and flung them toward his head. Ranma ducked the projectiles, which embedded themselves into the wall behind him. "Hey! Calm down! I just want to talk and give you something!" "There's nothing to talk about!" Ukyo hissed as she unslung her battle spatula and charged at him. "There's nothing you could give me that I could possibly want!" She then started swinging. Ranma calmly dodged each of her strikes and said, "Oh come on! How was I supposed to know you'd get that awful haircut if you lost the tournament? I felt bad about it, so I came here to try to make things better!" "You can make things better by standing still!" Ukyo swung again, narrowly missing Ranma's head. "Well, I don't think trying to kill me is going to get you back your hair!" "No, but I'll sure feel a lot better!" "Hey! If you want someone to blame, then you should blame Kuno! He was the idiot who signed the stupid contract!" "We already have! Just about everyone on our team had pounded on him after the tournament. But you're also to blame for all this! I'm going to enjoy reducing you to a bloody smear!" "Hey if you don't stop this right now, I'm going to change my mind about restoring your hair!" At the mention of regaining her hair, Ukyo stopped in her attacks. "W-what?!" Ranma then took a step toward her and reached into his pocket. Pulling out the small bottle, he unscrewed the eyedropper and held it out. With a quick hand motion, he held it over Ukyo's head and applied three drops to it. An instant afterwards, the okonomiyaki chef felt her scalp begin to tingle. She then felt something behind her. Reaching back, she ran her fingers through what ever was now covering the nape of her neck. Her eyes widened as she brought her hand before her. Between her fingers were long strands of thick, healthy hair. Thinking that this was some sort of dream, she gave a gentle tug at the tresses. It was real! She looked back at Ranma with a shocked expression. "H-how did you do that?" Ranma smiled as he held up the bottle. "It's an ancient hair- restoring formula that I came across in China. Unlike Dragon's Hair Soup, this stuff works on girls too. Although, I think I used too much. Your hair is longer than I remembered." Ukyo looked at a nearby mirror and saw that her hair was indeed longer than it was yesterday. She saw that its length went down to past her waist. Her face softened as she realized she could cut it down to its proper length later. She then looked back at Ranma. "I? I don't know what to say. I? I'm sorry I attacked you." Ranma's smiled as he said, "It's okay. If some nut cut my hair like that, I'd be mad too." Ukyo became thoughtful as she considered the person before her. "Say? Cojiro, is it?" Ranma nodded. "Could that stuff work on anyone?" "Yes. I was planning to go to Furinkan tomorrow and help the other students." "You are? That's great!" Her face then became saddened as she remembered. "Oh? but, the principal won't like that. He'll make us have those haircuts again!" "Don't worry!" Ranma assured as he headed toward the door. "I've got some things to discuss with him too! Trust me! Once I'm through with him, he won't be inclined to cut anyone's hair again!" Just as Ranma opened the door, he looked back to Ukyo and said with a smile, "By the way, you really look cute with long hair. Especially as a girl!" Ukyo felt her heart stop at that comment. Her cheeks began to blush with a fierce crimson as she watched him exit. The next morning? Fortunately for Ranma, the teachers had granted him the day off, in gratitude for the victory at the tournament. After getting directions to Furinkan High, Ranma walked to meet with the Headmaster from Hell. After walking for a while, he noticed a huge number of teenagers, moving at a frantic pace toward the gates of the high school. He frowned as looked to each student. Every boy had been given a buzz cut. Every girl had an awful bowl cut. He also noticed that many had sustained various injuries and their clothes were tattered. Looking to the rear of the mob, he spotted Akane, Nabiki and Ukyo. Deciding to jog behind the crowds, he focused his enhanced hearing on the conversation between the three girls. "So it's really true? This Cojiro guy grew back your hair?!" Akane asked. "It's true!" Ukyo affirmed as she ran her fingers though the newly trimmed tresses. " That guy didn't ask for anything! He kind of felt sorry for me and used this potion to restore it! He's not as bad as I thought! He said that was coming today to teach that principal a lesson!" "Really?" Nabiki said with a mercenary gleam in her eyes. She could make a lot of money from whatever he used to restore Ukyo's hair. She could also make considerable profits on the encounter between the principal and Cojiro. More than enough to recoup her losses at the tournament. "I don't believe it!" Akane said and she fingered her own, principal-approved hairstyle. "Why would he restore your hair, and not the rest of us?" "I don't know, but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth." Ukyo shrugged. "Then again, considering how just about the way everyone at school hates this guy for beating us a couple of days ago, he wouldn't feel very welcome if he showed up. He'd probably get chased out by an angry mob!" "You got it in one, Ukyo!" Ranma said as he ran up beside the three. "Cojiro! Good to see you!" Ukyo exclaimed. The three looked to their right and saw Ranma running beside them. Each of them had mixed reactions at his sudden appearance. Nabiki looked at him and saw a considerable source of income. Ranma was tall, lean and well muscled. He was about 6'1" and had long, raven hair, tied in a loose ponytail that went halfway down his back. His eyes were blue and his face was very handsome. He was a great martial artist, if the tournament was any indication. The fact that he had access to some miracle hair-restorer was also a plus. She could see how this person could make her a lot of yen! Plans of selling photos and betting pools made yen signs appear before her. Akane took one look at him and repressed the sudden urge to lash out at him. She hadn't forgotten what he had done to her at the tournament. In front of the whole school, he had humiliated her. He had beaten her without even laying a hand on her. She had prided herself on being the best martial artist in Nerima. Now this upstart had taken it all away. It was his fault that she had gotten this stupid haircut! Boys were nothing but perverts! Ukyo looked at her new friend and had mixed feelings. Sure he had beaten her at the tournament and had inadvertently caused her to have her hair cut. The fact that she was also a girl had been exposed. Then again, he did restore her hair. Now he was heading to her school in order to put the principal in his place and offered to restore the hair of all the other students as well. He was good- looking and had called her cute. Ukyo decided to reserve her judgment about this Cojiro, until the matter with the principal was resolved. "So what's with the marathon?" Ranma's voice snapped Ukyo back to the present as she nodded to him. "That stupid principal made up another one of his stupid rules!" "Really? What is it?" Nabiki decided to answer. "He told everyone yesterday that anyone coming in late for school would have to clean out toilets for a month! Pretty small time if you ask me! Oh I'm sorry, we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Nabiki Tendo." "Nice to meet you." Ranma nodded to the older sister. "And I believe you remember Akane." Nabiki gestured to her sibling, who turned up her nose and tried to ignore his presence. "You'll have to excuse my sister's rude behavior. She's still pretty steamed about the new haircut and losing to you a couple of days ago." "Hey, don't worry about it! After I'm finished with your principal, I'll grow her hair back with everyone else's!" "Oh?" Nabiki remarked as she became more interested. Akane also became intrigued at the thought of getting her hair back, despite her continued attempts to ignore him. "Say Cojiro? would you be interested in a little business proposition?" "Later Nabiki. We're almost at the school. By the way, why does everyone look like they've been walking through a minefield?" "It's more of that principal's stupid tricks!" Ukyo replied. "He put up booby traps and other obstacles in the surrounding areas! He really wants to make a lot of us late!" "Well, I'm going to have to see him about that too!" Ranma remarked as he saw the gates of Furinkan High in the distance. On top of the gates, he saw a man that was dressed in a colorful Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts and sandals. He wore a pair of dark shades and on top of his head appeared to be, a small? palm tree? He held up a megaphone and laughed maniacally!" "Aloha all you bruddas and sisters! You gunna be mucho tardy. Nobody gunna get in da gates before the clock strikes! Da Big Kahuna says you be scrubbing them toilets today, yah!" "That's the principal?!" Ranma asked in disbelief. Ukyo, Akane and Nabiki nodded. "Well, in that case?" Ranma suddenly accelerated and overtook the entire group. The students were a little more than startled when they saw someone rush forward in a blur and was at the front gates in an instant. Nabiki was especially astounded. She had estimated that the distance they still had to cover was at least five hundred yards. Ranma had traversed the distance in under half a second! The principal looked down at the person who was at the locked front gate and snickered. "Oh, you volunteer to be the first to scrub them toilets!" Then he noticed Ranma's long hair. "Oho! I missed one! You also be getting the buzz cut!" With these words, he leapt down and produced a pair of barber shears. Ranma had been expecting this reaction, considering what his friend Sodan had told him. Dodging the principal's lunge at his temple, Ranma lashed out with a spin kick that connected with his foe's head. The headmaster was slammed face first into the concrete wall. He made a considerable impression in the wall as he painfully slid down to the ground. "Ooooh! You do that on purpose!" He moaned as he picked himself off the ground. "Damn right I did!" Ranma said as he waited for the principal's next move. "Hey keiki! How's about a nice pineapple?" Ranma saw his foe toss him what appeared to be an ordinary fruit. However, Ranma knew better. Before starting out for Furinkan, he had talked with Sodan and asked him for more information about the principal. He knew there was some kind of bomb in it. As the pineapple flew toward him, Ranma did a back flip and kicked it back. The principle let out a surprised yelp as his own weapon was sent back and exploded. When the dust cleared, he was sprawled on the ground in a small crater. His clothes were tattered and smoking as he moaned in pain. He then slumped into unconsciousness. Ranma smiled as he turned toward the gate. The iron gates were locked tight and upon closer inspection, he noticed that the locks and the hinges had been welded shut. Shrugging at the minor problem, he simply grabbed hold of the bars and pulled. To the amazement of the approaching students, Ranma wrenched the gates of the high school free of their hinges and held them aloft. Placing the gates to the side, he picked up the principal's megaphone and yelled, "COME ON YOU GUYS! THERE"S STILL ONE MINUTE LEFT!!" Ranma pointed up to the large clock and indicated the time. This was all the incentive the students needed. With a final burst of speed, the crowd made a mad dash to the school's entrance, just as the Hawaiian nut had regained consciousness. He then looked at the approaching mob and let out a pathetic squeak as he realized that he was in their path. "OW! OUCH! YOW! HOLD IT! OW! YOWZA! NO! YEEEEEOOOOW! OUCHIE! OH BOY! STOP! OOOH! OH MOMMA! HELP! COWABUNGA! THAT HURT!" Thirty seconds before the bell rang, the last student passed through the gate. In their wake, the principal was sprawled on his back with a glazed look and hundreds of footprints all over his body. He was also sporting several large bruises from being trampled by the entire student population of Furinkan. Ranma smiled with satisfaction as he hefted the gates and slammed them back into place. He then stepped back and began concentrating his chi. His eyes glowed red. "CAT'S EYE BEAMS! RAPID FIRE!" Four short, but very intense beams of heat blasted from his eyes and hit the hinges of the gates, welding them back into place. The students were astounded as they recognized the technique. They stared at the Neko Ken fighter in silence. They were unsure whether to cheer him for getting them into the school on time, or to kill him for their loss at the No Holds Barred Tournament. Ranma smiled as he heard the late bell ring. He then pointed to the still dazed principal who was outside the school gates. Raising the megaphone, he said out loud with a grin, "HEY EVERYBODY! THE PRINCIPAL'S OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GATES! THE LATE BELL HAS RUNG! EVERYONE ELSE IS INSIDE! THE PRINCIPAL IS TARDY! SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" There was a smile on everyone's face as the truth sank in. In one enthusiastic cheer, the crowd gave their answer. "THE BIG KAHUNA IS GOING TO BE SCRUBBING TOILETS!!!!" Ranma smiled as the students continued to cheer. At noon, Ranma entered the cafeteria and encountered a thunderous round of applause. Many students were giving him high five's and backslapping as he approached the front benches. Standing on a table, he held up a megaphone and waved for their attention. As soon as it quieted down , he addressed the crowd. "I know that some of you consider me the enemy, because I defeated your team during the No Holds Barred Tournament! Many of you blame me for the buzz cuts and bowl cuts! I assure you, I had no idea that would happen. Therefore, I wish to make amends!" He then scanned the crowd and spotted the only other person who did not have a principal-approved haircut. "Ukyo Kuonji! Would you please come forward?" Ukyo stood up and slowly walked toward the front. Many people gasped when they saw that her hair had grown back. Many reached out to give her tresses a tug to make certain that it wasn't a wig. After a few pulls, she gave them an irritated glare. When she reached the front, Ranma continued. "As you can see, Ukyo has her hair back! I have something that will allow everyone to get his or her hair back too! I am willing to share it with all of you! Free of charge!" Nabiki spat out the milk she was drinking, the moment he said the word 'free.' She saw the yen signs come crashing down to the ground. All her plans to market the hair formula were gone in an instant. Ranma smiled as he saw the hopeful looks on everyone's faces. "The contract that Kuno signed stated that everyone get haircuts if Furinkan lost the tournament. And everyone did! The contract did not mention anything about the students growing their hair back!" There was a thunderous cheer or agreement. Ranma then continued. "Therefore, at the end of school, near the baseball diamond, I will administer enough of the formula, so that each student will regain at least fifteen inches of hair in an hour! You can then visit your barbers or hairdressers to get it cut or styled the way you want it! See you then!" There was another thunderous cheer as Ranma left the cafeteria. Later on in the afternoon, Ranma walked toward the storage room to get some large water bottles. He figured that if he dumped the entire contents of the bottle of hair-growing tonic into several gallons of water, the diluted formula should be enough to do the job. A teaspoon per student would suffice. Granted, their hair won't grow instantly as Ukyo's did, but considering how strong the formula was, they should be happy by the next day. Just as he was about to head downstairs, he heard some moans and pleas. Looking around the corner, he saw group of boys standing in front of a restroom. Judging by the way they were hunched over and squeezing their legs, he figured that they really needed to go! "Hey! What's happening?" Ranma asked as he walked over to the group. One boy looked at him and said, "That stupid principal has locked all the doors to all the restrooms! He's in there right now with the only set of keys!" "How long has been in there?" "More than twenty minutes! Every time he cleans a room, he locks the door. He wants us all to suffer. He told us that no one uses a restroom until he has finished cleaning ALL of them!" "How many restrooms are there?" "Fifty! All of them are locked! Every one of them has students waiting outside to use them! He's only done two and the others are too filthy for anyone to use! Looks like he dirtied them up beforehand when he made up that late rule! Doors have been replaced with reinforced steel ones and are too thick for us to break through!" "I can see why you haven't gone to another room. Well, we can't have that now can we?" Ranma stepped up to the door and knocked. "Uh uh! Nobody be using them rooms until I be done with all of them!" The Headmaster from Hell laughed. "This will be your first, last and only warning, you macadamia nut! Get your butt in gear OR ELSE!" Ranma's voice became deadly. "HA HA HA HA!!!" The principal laughed. Ranma took a stance and stared at the door. He let off a low and menacing growl that sounded like his tiger form. The students backed away as they watched with awe. The Neko Ken began to manifest as Ranma readied his 'claws.' "RIPCLAW SLASH!" Ranma's right hand glowed with an eerie blue light as he sent it in a downward arc. The steel door flashed once and then fell apart into two neat pieces. The boys behind him were shocked beyond belief. The door had been at least six inches thick and Ranma had sliced through it like cardboard. Before the principal could react, Ranma was inside the restroom. The school hallways echoed with the tortured screams of someone who was being subjected to an intense mauling. This was accentuated with some splashing and flushing noises. To those who did not attend at Furinkan, it was unbearable to hear. To those who did attend, it was music to their ears. "ARRRGH! NO! NOT THE FACE! STOP! GLUB! THAT'S NO WAY TO? GLUG! OW! NO! NO! NOT AGAIN!" FLUSH! "PATOOIE! PLEASE STOP! NO! NOT THERE!" SPLASH! "HELP!" SPLASH! "AT LEAST USE THE BRUSH! ARRGH! GURGLE! GURGLE! PEEYEW!" SPLASH! "OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! YOU WIN!" Within record time, all fifty restrooms were available for use. The principal had disappeared when the last one was unlocked and no one knew where he had disappeared. Whenever they asked Ranma about it, he simply smiled and said nothing. The end of the school day? The baseball diamond was a place of great excitement as students lined up in front of a large table. Ranma was spooning out portions of his hair-restorer to each student. Each teen that received his or her portion came away with a smile. The formula gave their scalps a gentle tingle and they could actually look in a mirror and see their hair slowly grow longer. When Nabiki came to get her share, she smiled and said, "Say Cojiro, this hair tonic of yours really works! I was wondering? do you have any more of this stuff? Would you like to go into business?" "Sorry." Ranma replied as he gave another spoonful to a grateful student. "This is all I've got." He gestured to the five, one- liter water bottles on the table beside him. "Once this is gone, there isn't any more! I've got just enough for everyone here. By the way, if your lackey doesn't put that bottle back in one second, I'll slice her in half like I did that bathroom door!" Ranma gestured with a thumb to the table behind him. There was an audible gulp as Nabiki's henchgirl slowly replaced the bottle back with the others. Ranma turned his head and gave her a stern glare. The girl gave him a sheepish grin and melted back into the crowds. He then turned back to Nabiki, and said, "I didn't bring this hair formula for profit. I consider it sort of like a peace offering. Besides, I wouldn't wish that stupid principal on my worst enemy!" Ranma's ears twitched and he heard the distant sound of a helicopter approaching. When the sound got louder, he looked up and saw said vehicle hovering above them. As if on cue, the insane laughter of the principal was heard. The side door opened and revealed said Hawaiian nut emerged with a megaphone. "HA HA HA HA! NO ONE BE GETTING THEIR HAIR BACK! NOT WHILE DA BIG KAHUNA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Ranma became extremely annoyed as the crowds began to scatter. In a minute, he was the only one standing in front of the table. He sighed as he screwed the cap back on the bottle he was using and took a stance. He then called up to the chopper. "What's the matter Principal? Still sore at the fact I used your face to clean those toilets?" "YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT! THE HEADMASTER IS THE BIG KAHUNA! HIS WORDS ARE LAW! IF I SAY ALL BRUDDAS AND SISTERS GET BUZZ CUTS AND BOWL CUTS, THEY GONNA STAY THAT WAY!" With these words, he began lobbing a dozen of his special coconut and pineapple bombs at the table. With lightning speed, Ranma scooped up the water bottles and dashed away, just as the projectiles landed and obliterated the table. He then began making a beeline for the main school building. However, the principal motioned for his pilot to cut him off. Ranma stopped when the helicopter hovered between him and the school. The two faced off as the entire school watched. "HA HA HA HA! YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO RUN! NO PLACE TO HIDE!" The principal taunted as his chopper began moving forward. Ranma crouched down, then sprang upward and forward. Before the startled eyes of the crowds, and the headmaster especially, he leapt over the helicopter that was blocking his way and ran into the school building. Getting over his surprise, the Hawaiian principal motioned for his chopper to land. As he stepped out, he signaled to some other people that were inside. All of a sudden, four large men, each armed with huge barber shears came out and followed the principal to the front doors of the school. "Now this is the Big Kahuna speaking! Go in there and get those bottles! I no care how you do it, but get them! Also get that smart aleck too! Give him da biggest buzz cut of dem all! I no want to see even the smallest bit of hair on him. Got dat? Now go get him!" The four men nodded as they went inside. The crowds watched them enter the school. A minute later, everything was silent. The students began edging toward the building, torn between helping Ranma and fearing the principal's wrath should they get involved. Then it happened. From within the depths of the school, there came a tremendous roar of some huge animal. It was then followed by screams of terror and objects being smashed. "IT"S A MONSTER!" "OUT OF MY WAY!" "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" "HE NEVER TOLD US ABOUT THIS!" "HE AIN'T PAYING US ENOUGH FOR THIS!" There were also the sounds of things being shredded and broken apart. An instant later, the four men were dashing out of the school, their clothes in tatters. All were screaming at the top of their lungs as they disappeared over the horizon. "HEY! WHERE YOU THINK YOU BE GOING?!" The principal was more than confused as he saw four large men flee like scared rabbits. He then looked back at the school. A moment later, Ranma emerged from the building, calmly dusting off his shoulder and grinning like the cat who just swallowed the canary. He then caught sight of the principal and took a battle stance. The principal swallowed hard as he immediately realized his situation. The crowds around him began close in, their expressions were anything, but friendly. He found himself cut off from his helicopter and the only path he could go was forward. Straight at Ranma, who had begun to approach him with slow, steady steps. The look in his eyes were promising intense pain. "N-now hold on a minute, little keiki!" The principal stammered with a nervous grin. "I just be having a little f-fun now! You no want the haircuts, is n-n-no problem! Is all just a little joke, yah?" "A joke?" Ranma repeated in a deadly tone. "Okay, if you thought all of this was funny, then you'll really get a laugh out of this!" Ranma leapt at the principal with a speed that defied imagination. Her screamed as he saw him rear back with a 'claw' and shut his eyes. He felt a something whip by as he head Ranma's voice shout out the attack. "QUICK SWIPE!" The principal braced himself and waited for the end. For a long time, everything was silent. Nothing was said nor heard. When he realized that he wasn't dead, the principal opened his eyes and looked around. He saw the students were staring at him. Behind him, he saw Ranma who was casually standing with his arms folded. When he looked down and saw that his body was untouched, he began laughing. "Ha ha ha ha ha! You missed! I?" It was then that he noticed that it was awful drafty. His head felt cool as he felt the evening breeze blow over his scalp. He felt something brush against his foot. What he saw on the ground caused him to go pale. There on the cold pavement was a large pile of hair and the shredded remains of a tiny palm tree. The principal let off a loud wail as he reached up and felt his bald head. His screams became even louder as he realized that there wasn't even stubble left. Ranma had somehow shaved him bare. Soon his screams became accompanied by the laughter of the Furinkan High students. It was so ironic. The principal had finally gotten a taste of his own medicine! It soon became unbearable for the headmaster to handle as he went running off from the schoolyard, still clutching his head and screaming like a maniac. After the principal had disappeared from sight, Ranma went back into the school and retrieved the bottles of hair-restorer. He waited for the crowds to stop in their mirth. When the snickering, the giggling and the guffaws finally ceased, he then picked up the megaphone that the Hawaiian nut had dropped and said, "OKAY! WHO'S WAS NEXT IN LINE?" To be continued? Author's Notes Quick Swipe: A very fast slash in which Ranma can cut through materials in less than a nanosecond. Not very strong but it is effective in delivering secret strikes where the opponent least expects it. In any case, the Headmaster from Hell has been dealt with, but he will return eventually. The changes to this chapter are just to make it more full.